Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Agent Kujan: "Convince Me"

I've heard nothing but good things about Deadwood (see post below)...I shall check it out post-haste. But be careful about saying that your new favorite show's better than the mind-fuckingness of 24 or the sheer brilliance of The West Wing (before almighty creator Aaron Sorkin's departure). You do not know of which you speak. There are few things in this world of which nobody can convince me to change my mind -- Deadwood being better than old school Wing is one of 'em. Here are just a few more:

New Afghan President Hamid Karzai is just a character being played by Ben Kingsley. You cannot convince me otherwise.

Child molestors, or horned up men in their 20s, may think twice about getting little girls pregnant if a billboard, napkin or coaster tells them not to. If you live in Richmond or Roanoke, I'm lookin' at you. According to this article, "In 1999 and 2000, men over 18 were responsible for 219 births involving girls who were 13 and 14." Had these "Isn't she a little too young?" billboards been operational during those years, these incidents would never have occurred. You cannot convince me otherwise.

And any woman with Parker in her first or last name is automatically right for me -- Parker Posey, Mary-Louise Parker...these women are hotter than two rats fuckin' in a wool sock. I wouldn't even mind being reincarnated as a tampon so that I may always be in Camilla Parker Bowles' knickers. Ordinarily I wouldn't be too attracted to Ms. Bowles, but with Parker in her name, she's hotter than a half-fucked fox in a forest fire. You cannot convince me otherwise.

You could try, but you would not be successful. On all other issues, from the budget deficit to the separation of church and state, I can be convinced. But on those three issues, I'm not budging from my convicted beliefs.

Man, this post was just a waste of 10 minutes for me, two minutes for you. Here's a voucher for your lost time, this is great stuff.


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