Monday, June 14, 2004

Eating Crow on Cape Cod

Right about the time the soon-to-be bride was dropped on her face while doing a keg stand, I realized that I had been all wrong about the Jack and Jill Shower. Sure, the name is a barf-inducing insult to all things manly. But really, good times were had by all, including Ms. Faceplant and her maids of honor. She even liked the cobalt blue lasagna pan Irene (and I) got for her.

As I watched the happy couple opening box after box of appliances, flatware, and fondue pots, it got me to thinking, God, life must really suck after you get married. I mean, look what goes for gifts. It was all stuff you need in a real house, a house where dust doesn't accumulate in the corners and people use coasters and ants are a cause for concern. It was really see people my age acting all happy to get the gift-giving equivilent of baldness and a FUPA. "OOOH, honey! Look! A Williams Sonoma match the rug! What's this? Yay! A Crockpot. Oh, and look, a pair of scissors for snipping off your balls! And they match the doorstop!"

Needless to say, I left the room, went outside, and played flip cup...with all of the other non-grooms.


At 7:36 PM, Blogger Wooglin said...

jesus don, you sound like a real nancy. a "cobalt blue lasagna dish." next thing ya know your gonna have matching furniture that doesn't have wax spilled all over it and coffee table that wasn't found in the garbage...


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