Friday, July 02, 2004

The Bronx: Broom City

First of all, am I the only asshole who has to work today AND Monday? That shit is not cool. You got a fuckin' dart in your neck.

So if anyone missed the Yank'ums/Sawx game last night, you really missed out on an Instant Classic. That game should be played on ESPN Classic every day for the next week, with a disclaimer that reads "You're a total fucking douchebag if you watch the following game and don't fall in love with this sport."

These two teams played a 13-inning slobberknocker that left both teams battered and bruised, most notably Yankees' captain Derek Jeter. The Red Sawx battled hard and I must commend them on a well-fought game -- had Nomahhh not been a total pansy and actually played the game, who knows what would have happened. Incidentally, did last night's game seal the deal in terms of Nomar being traded? Absolutely. He's out of Beantown by the end of July, mark those palabras.

But this was more about the Yankees, who much like the Goonies, just never say die. Last night was their 31st game already this season in which they've won while coming from behind (the only two guys in the Sawx lineup who know a thing or two about coming from behind are Manny and Pedro, and that's only in private). The Yankees, quite surprisingly to tell the truth, are playing with heart, they're playing with grit, and they seem to be battling until the final out is recorded. Jimmy V would love to manage these guys -- they just never give up. On a team of superstars, you gotta love to see that. And it all starts with the Captain.

Since Jeter's return to prominence, the Yanks have become the unflappable force everyone thought they would be...give them an inch and they'll take 400 feet. The play he made last night was incredible, simply. The catch itself was a dandy, but that's not what made it so...he knew he would either run full speed into the wall or have to dive head first into the stands, risking serious injury. Well, you know what he decided. Simply incredible. It's hard to hate the Yankees after plays like that...well, I guess for some of you, it's a lot easier.

A sweep in the books, and damn it feels good. What a well-played series, though, one of the best regular season trysts I've ever seen. Three games of hard-fought play, great baseball and nonstop action. This game may not be America's pasttime anymore, but it sure as shit is the most fun game to watch when it's at its best.

Now I'm gonna go beat off in the office bathroom thinking of this beautiful sweep. Hey, beats pissing on the floor in there.


At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dick broom that is

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

Saying that Nomar is gone by July is probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard (warning: this statement is being made by a Phillies fan).

The Red Sox, despite their recent struggles, will surely still be in contention for a playoff appearance in 30 days. To trade the man who is, to many, the face of the franchise in his contract year, well, it just ain't gonna happen. I know he was/is hurt, and he's playing about as good as I could right now, but the Sox are not shipping Nomar off to a contender for prospects - they're looking to win now (i.e. walk year for Nomar, Pedro, Varitek, and Derek "Looks Like I Really Do Suck After All" Lowe).

C'mon. I'm all about conjecturing with sports, but let's think before we write.

At 10:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A pretty face and a big nose don't win baseball games. Nomar isn't even playing, and when he does he sucks. He more or less singlehandedly blew game 2 of this series, and made a healthy contibuted to the demise in game 1. And look what happens when he doesn't play, the Red Sox look alive, kind of like how they looked before he got off the disabled list.

At 10:39 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Jason, I respectfully disafuckingree. If I were Theo the Acne Wonderboy I would definitely trade him. Yes, they need to win now, but everyone in that front office has to realize that Nomar a) will not be re-signing and they'll get nothing for him; b) doesn't look happy at all; and most importantly, c) hurts the team defensively and perhaps in leadership. They're a better team without him, and I think everyone in Sawx Nation realized that this week. Although, I couldn't care less -- I said before the season these guys would miss the playoffs, and I couldn't be more sure of anything now.

J, stick to writing hilarious posts about beating off in the shower and leave the real sports commentary to the professionals.

Best Yankee fan quote of the day from DB: "How about that last inning? I'll tell you what Boston....we'll spot you a Manny homer to go up, and 2 OUTS...and we'll still come back and beat you with the last guy on our bench."

Truer words ne'er been spoken, DB.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Now I know the press isn't the most reliable source as far as these matters go, but, Muldoon, I think I'll side with Ace and point an article out to you:

Plus Gammons last night said a Nomar for Clement deal was in the works...and that makes a lot of sense to me.

When you don't pinch hit the "face of the franchise" for Cesar Crespo in extra innings in what basically was a must-win game against your hated rival, then you need to start thinking about getting a new face. I don't know if it's going to happen, but it's far from the dumbest thing I've ever heard. In fact, it makes perfect sense to me. He's a disgruntled player who is going to leave at the end of the year. He's hurting the team right now. And he's extremely valuable. Go get an arm and the hitting will be fine.

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Sox1918 said...

Two tings...

1) I want to make babies with Jeter.

2) I got off the most glorious ride of my life on the 4 train last night after the greatest night of my life at the Stadium. I happened to spot four schmucks wearing idendical Nomah jerseys attempting to flag down a cab in my city. I happened to step in front of them and say, "I guess you guys just lost another one." These losers then proceeded to run after my cab down 86th street. I stuck my head out of the window and shouted in my drunken stupor, "You'll be chasing us all year bitches."

At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh bs, u miss me lemmi

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

Your points are certainly valid, but I would like to go on record now and say that there is NO WAY that Nomar gets moved. Rumors, schmumors - it just ain't gonna happen. Trust me on this.

Also, since we're making personal attacks, I think the Jimmy V allusion should be removed, since it was made earlier in the week on about...Pedro. Sure, it wasn't in the same context at all, but I'm just lashing out.

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Wait, they made the Jimmy V analogy to Pedro? That makes no sense, when has he NOT given up? I thought Pedro was French he gives up so often. That's a terrible analogy by, mine wins, everyone goes home happy.

Just saw this on a message board (actually it was a Phish message board, but they got it from SoSH):

Boston Red Sox would get: Odalis Perez and Carlos Delgado
Toronto Blue Jays would get: Cesar Izturis and minor-league pitcher
Los Angeles Dodgers would get: Nomar and BK Kim

That would instantly improve those sorry sacks of shit in Boston. Ah whatever, I root for the Yanks, not against the Sawx.

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Ace vs. Muldoon. Blog off. I want to see it. Just, keep the clothes on boys. And don't be afraid to use your nails.


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