Friday, July 16, 2004

Business is Beautiful

I left something off my underrated list from yesterday, gotta correct that oversight today. Have you guys seen these new Sprint: Business is Beautiful commercials? I am in love. The commercial starts off slow, but then they say, "Totally connected...wire-less-leeee" and a kickass Keith Moon drumbeat breaks into some sort of Hair-meets-Godspell performance worthy of Broadway. In fact, they should take this act to Broadway, I'd pay at least $4 to see that show. Wire-less-leeee. I fuckin' love this mersh, I could watch it 10 times a day. Oh wait, I do watch it 10 times a day.
 
So Martha Stewart awaits sentencing today, and I'm kinda excited to see what happens. Look, I hate corporate criminals with a passion, and I think these Enron and Adelphia and Worldcom fuckers should get at least 10 years in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. But Martha, I'm on her side here. She did something that every single person in America would do if their broker called with inside information. Oh, the company is gonna tank? Sure, I'll sell my 4,000 shares, thanks for the call, Peter. Yes, she lied to cover it up, but then again, how many of us would truly come clean after making such an illegal sale? One out of every five people would have done the right thing and you can't convince me otherwise.
 
Plus, she may have saved herself a handful of thousands, but this case cost her hundreds of millions of dollars (maybe it's even a figure in the billion range). I think she's paid enough, just give her probation with tons of hours of community service, including hours of work with the Women's Venture Fund as her lawyers suggested. My prediction: six months in a white collar prison, hours of community service and probation.
 
Switching gears a bit, here's a really interesting article from one of my favorites, Jayson Stark. If you're into baseball and want to see some changes in the sport, or conversely you don't want to see changes in the sport, read this here piece.
 
Sorry for the lack of comedy today, I kinda wanted to sound off on Sprint and Stewart. Today should be a relatively light day for me (relatively being the key word), so hopefully I'll find my funny pants later in the day and put 'em on one leg at a time.
 
I leave you with this awesome story about mullets and the freedom of expression.

28 Comments:

At 9:39 AM, Blogger adam said...

Mullets are awesome. They used to be IT for football players in the UK in the 70s and 80s, which makes any TV repeats of those games particularly entertaining. Here's a t-shirt celebrating the shame: http://www.football365shop.com/store/comersus_viewItem.asp?idProduct=1225

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Seyeko said...

I'm so glad I got out of that state when I had the chance!

I used to have a mullet-like hairstyle. Actually, it was more like a moppet, which was kinda cool, except when I went for the Steven Segal look, everyone just pointed and laughed at me as if I was violating some moral code.

I was. I looked awful!

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Whoa, do we have British fans?! I hear Donnie is to the UK as Hasselhoff is to Germany...

And Steven Seagal is a fantastic actor, he should clearly win a Cleo Award for his role in those Mountain Dew mershes.

 
At 10:17 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

forgot this on my underrated list...

4. fahting in the showah

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Seyeko said...

the bitch got 5 months in prison!!

More details soon...

 
At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

blowin ass in the bath is better. just killed a mini-spider wit my bare hands.

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

also forgotten on my underrated list..

5. the ice cream truck, i wish i could use the ice cream truck tune as my ringtone

ok, no more underrated from me, great article from j starks, i think maybe mlb should go to a poll system, seems to be doing wonders for college foosball

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Seyeko said...

Anyone think it's time for an *overrated* list now? Only seems logical...

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

absolutely, i'll start it off

overrated...

1. being in shape
2. personal hygiene
3. ace cowboy...ohhhhhhhhhhhhh come on, it was the only logical way to go, its been too damn long since i spat some heckling your way ace, cheerio

this siiide

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

I'm beginning to detect a strong resemblence between poophop and the author of Everything Is Wrong with Me. Thoughts?

Overrated:
1. Shorn testes (they fucking itch)
2. Black men's packages
3. Phallic humor

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Overrated:

1. Bottled water
2. Clean underwear
3. Not masturbating constantly

Heckler, you're good.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

wow, great stuff

all caps anonymous, where u at??

 
At 12:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. Man Boobs
2. Yayo
3.Chicken Finger Wednesday before Mozzarella Sticks

& 1 more underrated..... racism

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

overrated...

4. patience with morons/retards/disabled peoples

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Underrated: casual racism. Overrated: overt racism.

Underrated: Bart Starbux. Overrated: all Anonymous posters.

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

Overrated:

1. Ketchup (It's really not that tasty)
2. Celery (It's a waste of a veggie. Where's the beef?)
3. Kleneex with Aloe (Just what I want...greasy fingers for the rest of the day)

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

not to get off the overrated list, but just went to espn.com and after further review, we need a post explaining why/how lance armstrong is just so much better at riding a bicycle than any one else in the world, it simply boggles the mind. i mean, what the fuck!?

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Lance is on the juice.

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Don Fied1er said...

poophop you ride?

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

Starbux, there is only one of me, and it's not poop.

[that makes no sense at all]

 
At 12:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

poop = puffy

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

I once rode a bike into a tree.

*THWACK*

Good times.

Good times indeed.

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

ride or die donnie, ride or die

and to end all the speculation, poop<>mulgrew

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

wow, i've been bamboozled by don fied1er, would the real don fiedler please stand up, damn identity thiefs

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Overheard:

"Damn, that bitch fucked up like Pat Bimmel."

Thoughts?

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Wow, 25 posts on this today...I love this forum.

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

Have we surpassed the all time record?

Could today be officially marked "Ken Jennings Appreciation Day" here at SLL?

 
At 2:53 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

imitation is the sincerest form of f1atter1

 

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