Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Da Bomb

Is anyone else sick of the top headline of the Times Online being some variation of "Bomb explodes in Baghdad, 12 reported dead"? I mean, enough already. I think the Times should just have a section somewhere on the page like this:

Shit Blowin' Up in Iraq
7/14/04
Status:
Not yet but it's coming, check back soon
Venue: 70% Chance of Car Bomb in Tikrit
Casualties: O/U 6
Days Since Last Civilian Contractor Beheading: 3

This might save the Times a lot of space for stories currently on CNN.com like Bush Twins Describe Camp David Karaoke. And if that story becomes big, maybe CNN could save space by doing this:

Bush Twins Karaoke Update
7/14/04
Last Night's Session:
4.5 hours
Jenna's Top Hit: Manic Monday
Barbara's Top Hit: Groove is in the Heart
Should Have Stayed at U of I: Lon Kruger
King Dons for Jenna: 7

Wouldn't that make everything easier?

5 Comments:

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yes, yes it would. A lot easier. "The chills that you spill up my back..."

 
At 11:26 AM, Blogger TJ said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only one that noticed that Jenna's been spending a little too much time lingering around the Hostess display at the end of the snack foods aisle. I mean, that outfit just isn't flattering. Now Babs on the other hand, walking into that shot with a little sexy confidence, I dig it. Is it me or does she have a big-in-the-hips-Alanis thing going there?

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I'd do 'em both out of spite.

You can't return something out of spite. Well then I just don't like it. Too late, you already said spite.

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what was that? Seinfeld?

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Perhaps on the nightly news, they should replace that lame graphic over the newsman's shoulder with a small caricature of Big Boi and Andre 3000 dancing and singing "Bombs Over Baghdad." I mean, it would sum it all up perfectly, and picture in your head right now two little cartoons dancing and singing a la the "Hey Allah"* video. Now that would make tales of innocent Iraqis blowing up so much more entertaining.

*Bet you didnt think I could get that "a la" / "Allah" thing to work, did you...

 

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