Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Grab Ovaries By the Horns

I love the movie Crazy People. If you've never seen it, here's a quick synopsis: A stressed out ad exec played by Dudley Moore goes one part-Jerry MaGuire, one part-Falling Down after his wife leaves him. Moore's character then does what you all think he's gonna do, which is just flip out, and in the process he inadvertantly creates a whole "truth in advertising" campaign that takes off to rave reviews. Since he has been committed to a mental institution before the ads run, the agency has re-hire Moore while's he's in the asylum. But the other inmates, who are...wait for it...crazy people, become great at this style of advertising, and they join the firm from the satellite office of this sanitarium. Oh, and there's other shit goin' on, too. It really is fantastic, see it if you haven't already.

I always thought the best slogan he came up with was for a fictional movie called The Freak. The tagline for the movie advertisement that ran in the New York Times Magazine read "This movie won't just scare you. It will fuck you up for life."

Some of the others are flat out hilarious as well, but I thought the car slogans especially are fantastic... 

Volvo: Boxy, but good.

Porsche: It's a little too small to get laid in it, but you get laid the minute you get out of it.

Jaguar: For men who want hand jobs from women they barely know.

Or something like that, give or take a word. But that's close enough, dicks. Anyway, let me finally get to the point of the post (that's called burying the story, folks). After clicking on the following link, you can probably add Dodge to the list of car companies waiting for a funny slogan...But I can't think of anything funny, so sound off in the comments with your own Dodge/Reproductive System slogan. Best I can do is "Dodge: You're welcome for that once a month blow job from your wife." (I'm not sure, are period references still hip?) 

In any case, go see Crazy People if you haven't already. Sure, there were mediocre performances from Dudley Moore, Paul Reiser and Daryl Hannah. But you also get a typical great bad guy performance from the late J.T. Walsh and an absolutely awesome Got-Screwed-for-Best-Supporting-Actor performance from David Paymer (a true "That Guy"). Man oh man, there's some funny fuckin' shit in that flick. Yes, that's my one-sentence review of the movie, "There's some funny fuckin' shit in that flick." And I stand by that review. Samson Simpson, I stick by my story.


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