Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Hush, Keep It Down Now, Voices Kerry

Random band name while riding on the subway: FUPA The Day. And all our back-up singers will be at least a deuce, deuce and a half.

I thought of that one right before I elbowed some woman in the head and subsequently tripped her. Obviously it was an accident, and in fact, it was all her fault. I'm standing there with my hand up on the top bar, and this Kurt Warner's Wife lookalike was sitting in the seat directly below. She rose from her seat quickly to get off the train, and bounced her short-haired noggin right into my elbow. But then she tried to step around me to get off the train, but she just kicked her boot into my right foot like she didn't see it. Well, she buckled and missed a step, nearly going down like your mom on the poolboy. Then Fake Brenda Warner gave me the meanest look I've ever received in my life, no joke -- I thought she was gonna knife me right then and there. Then she knifed me.

So I get to work and see that Sen. Kerry has chosen psychic politician John Edwards as his running mate. I'm sure you've never heard that joke, that's a service I provide, new jokes for all. All the time, new jokes. And speaking of jokes, the good ol' NY Post got this one horribly wrong, very embarassing stuff: Kerry Picks Gephardt (if the link doesn't work by the time you read this, that means they ripped it off the website to save face -- try the Smoking Gun). And check out the front page of the hard copy if you haven't already, that's a keeper. This one might be even worse than when the Post printed that the Yankees lost Game 7 of the ALCS last year. Gotta love the Post, man, much love to the Post. Hey, at least they tried for the exclusive...suuuure they were wrong, but you gotta go for it sometimes.

A quick note from my buddy Ivan: "I love these army dudes in Penn Station and all around the city dressed in their full fatigues and garb, but do you really think they need that canteen? I saw some guy drinking from his canteen and breaking into his dehydrated food rations while standing in front of a Wendy's. That's going a little far for effect, don't you think? Can't this guy get a happy meal? Can somebody get him a happy meal?!"

Busy day, I must be going. Welcome back to Donnie Fiedler, hopefully this no-working ass-clown will do a bit of blogging today...

4 Comments:

At 11:11 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

ha, brenda warner, is there any doubt that bitch is going to hell? i got top bunk. i wish they had a camera on kurt every time she called in to the radio station, now that'd be good tv

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Less opinion, more heckling. I like Brenda Warner, she makes for good material...

I once wrote this about Ms. Warner, before the Rams/Gaytriots Super Bowl: "You will see many camera shots of Kurt Warner's wife on Sunday (wait, that's not his mom?), probably clad in her usual blue thing with ruffles and fringes and feathers. That chick looks like a combination of my friend Berger's mom, Susan Powter, and Spike from the classic arcade game Arch Rivals (NBA Jam's predecessor). Listen, I can understand crowd shots of Pete Sampras' 'one fine piece of ass' wife, but Mrs. Kurt Warner? Her hair is shorter than her husband's undergrowth and she cites the word of God more than an al Qaeda disciple. Send her off with Summerall; keep her off the air."

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

haha, gaytriots, that is sooooo clever, my god, call the patent office!! fag

 
At 9:07 AM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Love the blog title. That lyric is actually #2 on the all-time misquoted lyric list of all-time ever. Just behind AC/DC's grind-em-out classic "Dirty deeds and the thunder chief."

 

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