Wednesday, July 21, 2004

I Suck, You Suck, Everybody Dance

Another day, another 6 AM wake-up call. My life has officially turned into one giant pile of dog doo, nothin' but work lately. The summer used to be the absolute highlight of my year - chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool up at the camp I worked at, where the toughest part of about my summer job was deciding whether I really wanted that ice cream sandwich for snack. I used to be outdoors for 16 hours a day and at a country bar with $1.50 beers for three hours at night; the only time I see the sun now is when I'm walking to and from work, and I haven't gone to a bar on a weeknight in a month. I don't want to sound like a whiner, but this is shaping up to be one miserable fuckin' summer. Is this life from now on? Yikes.

Can't I just be, like, I don't know, a freshman in college again? Worry-free and without stress, nothing but smooth sailing, missed classes and bong resin. If you have problems when you're that age, you need to be weeded out of society and thrown down a deep well. Plus, had I decided to enroll at Duke, I'd have a free iPod right now. That's just cool as shit. I'd do just about anything to either turn back the clock and be younger again or just trade it all in to sit on my ass an collect a kickass salary. Maybe Cher and I will find a way to actually turn back time instead of just lamenting our problems. I'd even settle for a cross-country trip in the PantsOnFire Mobile, rather than wake up at 6 AM every morning. Actually, that mobile sounds pretty sweet. Go Ben.

Ho-right, it's time to get my ass in gear and head to la oficina. What a yoke. If things get too bad, I may be forced to make this gesture at my boss. Enjoy your days, and much apologies for the lack of quality Slack shiite of late. We got Donnie on the lam down on the Joisey Shore and I just feel like Randall MacMurphy, post-lobotomy. Where's the Chief when you need him?

"Avoid the clap." --Jimmy Dugan


At 10:11 AM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

What happened, Carol? I feel hollow inside, and I hate ya. Sweet Jesus!

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Am I Carol? Who's Carol? Did I make you feel hollow? I have so many questions, Bart.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Panther3000 said...

So, do all the non-freshmen just kick the shit ouf freshmen and steal their ipods...i think the fear of being thrashed for my ipod would make me go to Chapel Hill...


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