Thursday, July 08, 2004

My Pitching Staff Sucks and Moore

So my fantasy beisbol team fell out of first place for the first time since late April. I'm obviously not happy with this development. I may have to pull the trigger on a bad move, anything to get some life into my dreadful pitching staff. It's either make a trade for pitching, or trade off my squad and put together such a bad team that will help us relocate to Miami. This guy here is dead. Cross him off then.

The whole situation has me a bit worried. Over the past two weeks, I've had a closed door meeting with my players and the players have had their own players-only meeting. But that didn't work. None of it worked. My hitting is simply incredible, the best in the five-year history of our league by far. But these starters just go out there and blow more goats than Noah Vanderhoff (I have proof). It's a very disconcerting situation, one that's going to require some careful examination of my dismal staff. Trade updates to follow, folks, thanks for your concern.

In other news, praise be to the U.S. Government for scaring the living bejesus out of people for no reason. So here's what we know: There will be a terrorist event, it will be sometime before November, and it may be mass transit. Here's what we don't know: Our ass from our elbow. Kerry announces a running mate one day and we get a terror warning the next day. But even though it's a terror warning, there's no reason just yet to raise the fuckin' color coding whatever bullshit. Resident Fatty Michael Moore may be onto something about this culture of fear (though I'm sure that point was obvious to most going into the movie). Four more years.

I'm pretty hungry, folks, I'm not gonna lie. But my bohemoth of a boss' secretary is at lunch, and I gotta watch the phones. If someone is up in my building's cafeteria, tell that lady to waddle back down here and do her fuckin' job. God, I hate Slackers.

3 Comments:

At 2:37 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

Someone ought to start a fantasy Pudox league.

I'd be in on that shit in a flash.

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I'd say about 1000 people in the world would know what the hell that means...

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

Those are the luckiest folks in the world!

Everything has to start out small at first. Next up: Pudox at the 2016 Summer Olympics!

 

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