Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Run DNC

The "Thumbs Up" was in full effect last night at the Democratic National Convention, and it wasn't because Mike Utley had just been paralyzed. Former President Bill Clinton was in the house, bringing the standing room only crowd to its feet and kicking off the DNC the way it oughta be started.

I miss our talks, Bill and me. I miss when he gets up there and makes me feel like things are right in the world. I miss when he says things that are bad now are surely going to get better. There's never been a greater salesman in the Oval Office...Clinton can not only sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves, but he can probably sell a family of slaves to a staunch abolitionist. Ah, the good old days -- I'll take a couple, I'm swamped over here.

But seriously, I do miss our 42nd president. He knows what he wants to say and he articulates it better than 99 percent of his constituents. Such a contrast with our current boss, who needs to be spoon-fed even the simplest ideas and policies and then stumbles through his poor attempt at rote memorization and regurgitation. Is is that much to ask for a leader who knows how to speak? For Chrissakes, Jackie Chan could probably do a better job of selling the GOP platform. Clinton is the man, plain and simple. I mean, I'm convinced that if this guy doesn't get a little slobknobbity in the Oval, he goes down as the greatest President of all time. The greatest of all time...

One more debate topic from my roommate and I: When do you think the last time Bill and Hillary danced the horizontal polka? a) 1979 b) 1987 c) 1991 d) 1997 e) post-millenium. My vote's for answer "b", but I'd definitely be interested in hearing what other people think.

And lastly, everyone thinks the quote of the night was Jimmy Carter's: "And finally, in the world at large we cannot lead if our leaders mislead." But I thought it was even better when Jimmy got up there and said, "Should we be here today? Yessss." Obscurely weird Jack Buck reference for no reason? Absolutely, go fuck yourself.

6 Comments:

At 10:19 AM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Sounded more like Hawk to me. "You can put in on the platfooooorrrrrrrmm......Yes!

 
At 10:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to see Carter up there, especially after he recently passed away due to Alzheimer's.

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Yup, that was me with the above comment. Bill Clinton's rousing speech made me so horny that I forgot to click the Don Fiedler button.

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yaaaay, the band is back together...

If Hawk Harrelson ran for President, I'd so vote for him. Hello, is this Kim Jong Il? This is President Harrelson, I just wanted to say, "You can put it on the boooooooard, yeeeesssss."

 
At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monica Lewinsky...go on with your bad self! Bill Clinton is the man!

 
At 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you elite east coast liberals...fooled by a fucking well-spoken huckster from Arkansas. Clinton's definitely the LUCKIEST president we've ever had. The tech boom would've made Ford look FDfuckingR. This is America: the slickest politician we've ever had fools every person whose parents told them to be democrats into thinking he actually ever did anything. Lemmings...

 

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