Friday, July 23, 2004

So Spread Sunshine

So Bart Stabux is right...I'm a positive person, enough of this goddamn negativity. And I know just the person to break us out of this little dry spell: Matthew Lesko.

On Halloween, some genius, I forget who, maybe my roommate, suggested that I dress up like Mr. Lesko. I thought it a brilliant idea at the time, and I still do. So I went to the Sal-A store and got some old threads, I bought some oak tag and some velcro and proceded to paste question marks all over my brightly colored suit. It turned out better than I had even hoped, the suit was perfect. I was ready, and I looked a lot like my target.

So I started walking down to Donnie and Irene's place to meet them for a party. I can't tell you how many times I got "Hey, Riddler, nice outfit, aren't you supposed to be green?" and "Question Mark Guy, who the hell is Question Mark Guy?" I was kind of embarrassed at this point, and began to question my question mark costume.

But the people who knew who I was made me feel warm inside, these people made me smile downstairs. One guy in a freakish, ghoulish outfit who was literally scaring children walked past me and whispered, "Hey, I've got all that guy's books, great costume man." I posed for some pictures with admiring fans, and I even got a high five from a guy in a skirt so short you could see the bottom of his scrotal cavity. Now I was flyin' high, the costume made my Halloween. And of course, that guy's scrotum was cool too.

Fast forward to this party, where a friend of mine walked in and said, "Hey, I live down the street from that guy." He wasn't lying either, he knew Lesko's wife's name was Wendy and that he drove a big car with question marks all over it. Oh, I should probably disclose that I did a lot of research on this guy to get into character. Yeah, that's how lame I am. 

So I took a picture of myself and told him to pass it along. I got no response. Until now. Yesterday I received the following e-mail from Matthew Lesko himself:

"Slade…Our friend Manu says you are a great guy.. If that is true, send me your address and I’ll send you some free books and how to get FREE MONEY…I’ve attached my latest commercial for you to get a sneak preview."

And yes, he did attach the free commercial, and yes, it was awesome. Free fuckin' money, dude.

Lesko picked me right out of this funk. Lesko and The Faces's song Bad n' Ruin, which Donnie introduced me to a few months ago. That tune rocks. Lesko rocks. Cleveland rocks. Ohio.

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