Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Some Quick Notes

Four quick hits while I'm finishing up my day at work:

1. I threw up this morning. Yes, it's weird, my frayed nerves and high anxiety towards doing my job competently caused me to get out of bed at 6:30 AM and vomit up that clear, bile-esque substance that your body regurgitates on an empty stomach. That's not exactly how you want to start the day, right? You maybe wanna start the day with a good mattress hump, but you definitely don't want to do the ol' reverse peristalsis first thing in the morning.

2. I was downstairs outside my office for a second earlier today, basking in the weirdness of this summer weather. An elderly woman passed me going west on 58th Street, a woman so old and caked in so much make-up that I nearly stopped her to ask her if I could take a picture of her. I'm not kidding. This woman was walking around alone and unsupervised, and apparently she wasn't dead. The asshole part of me just wanted to march right up to her and say, "Excuse me, Miss, but can I take a picture of you? Why? Because you either look like you're dead or you're the oldest goth poser in Manhattan, ya old bag." Instead I just took her around back and slipped her the bone. Then I vomited for the second time today. It was hot.

3. In the past week, we've had at least 15 people come to our site through Google or Yahoo looking for the Sprint: Business is Beautiful commercial that I referenced on July 16th (and for some weird reason nearly 10 people have come to Slack looking for the Ameriquest blimp, which I referenced two days earlier). The Sprint mersh is a thing of sheer beauty, really one of those mershes that makes you smile every single time you see it. It's like watching Gary Sheffield with a full count -- no matter how many times you see it, you know it's not gonna strike out.

4. Ricin in baby food? Let's just go with the obligatory: It tastes just like it smells...delicious (or should I just paraphrase the Super Troopers line, "It's powdered Gerber...it's delicious").

2 Comments:

At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

STOMACH BILE RULES! It tastes like ear wax, right?

 
At 12:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Sprint commercial "Business is Beautiful" is one of the worst ad campaigns ever. It doesn't get more annoying then that.

 

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