Friday, August 20, 2004

I'm on CNNfn, Beeyotch!

About an hour or two ago I was sitting at my desk, working quietly, checking e-mail, occasionally thinking about jumping out this window next to me. Then I heard a loud man scream "Charlie Murphy!"

Since I'm about 10 feet from the open studio, I stood up immediately and looked over, only to see Charlie Murphy, Ashy Larry and some token white dude associated with Chappelle's Show on The Biz.

The Biz? This just serves as further proof to keep my expectations low for next season -- when you appear on The Freakin' Biz, that's a bad sign: White people are moving in.

These fuckers aren't just mainstream now, they've gone well beyond that. It's not like this trio was just featured on a cable news network -- they were on the financial news unit run by that cable network. What the shit do these guys know about money and finance? Ashy Larry even yelled "I'm rich, beeyotch" into the camera at the end of the interview. Is that his take on business? It's a pretty good take, I must admit, but I'm an amateur.

Then again, I also caught Michael McDonald on the program a few weeks ago, and I know he don't know shit about business. Regardless, I'll still continue to sing his praises to everyone within earshot. And not only do I sing his praises, I sing his praises in that Soulful White Guy With Ridiculous Pipes kind of way.

I don't know what to make of this...Chappelle's new contract is flat out inexplicable. It's almost like Comedy Central was about to get hit with a race discrimination lawsuit, and this was their way of saying, "We're not racist, we just gave $50 million to a colored guy last week." I don't know, just a thought. I hope that Chappelle maintains some semblance of artistic integrity and doesn't let down just because he got a rich contract.

My fear is that his show will suffer from one or all of three things:

1. Chappelle pulling a sports free agent move and performing Operation Shutdown after signing a huge deal (see Bartolo Colon and Twinkies)

2. Complete and utter "overplayedness" (see the "Walken/More Cowbell" SNL sketch, Budweiser frogs and anything else ever)

3. White people

I can't get over the fact that Charlie Murphy and Ashy Larry were guests on a financial news network. That's the most out of place celebrity appearance since Johnny Dakota taught the kids of Bayside "There's no hope with dope." RIP Brandon Tartikoff.


At 4:42 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Bullet, by my count, you mentioned 8 people in your last post. I knew who four of them were (including one I used to live with and one big fat pitcher with a bad last name). I feel stupid.

At 5:21 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Did you just call Ace "Bullet"? Cause that's awesome! Can Brendan Tartikoff be "Pistol" or "Dead NBC Guy"?

At 5:25 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Barty's been callin' me Bullet since about Day 10 of this blog...had you not been hit by a bus for a month, maybe you woulda noticed. Donnie, you also didn't notice that I've gained and lost over 100 pounds since we've been blogging. Damn you.

At 5:32 PM, Blogger Slack LaLane said...

Go ahead. Make another crack at me. I know how to change the template. I can edit you out right now instead of adding Back to the Future quotes at the bottom of the blog. Near the sitetracker thing. Make your move, cowboy.

At 5:35 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Slack LaLane himself, ladies and gentlemen. Aren't you all impressed? See? He really does exist. And he taunts Ace. And all is right in the world. Except in North Korea...cause that shit's fucked up.


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