Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Might As Well Face It...

...You're addicted to porn?

"A number of Finnish conscripts have been excused their full term of military service because they are addicted to the Internet, the Finnish Defense Forces said Tuesday."

...You're addicted to beatin' coloreds?

"Republican congressional candidate James L. Hart acknowledges that he is an 'intellectual outlaw.' He is an unapologetic supporter of eugenics, the phony science that resulted in thousands of sterilizations in an attempt to purify the white race. He believes the country will look 'like one big Detroit' if it doesn't eliminate welfare and immigration. He believes that if blacks were integrated centuries ago, the automobile never would have been invented. He shows up at voters' homes wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying a gun, and tells them that 'white children deserve the same rights as everyone else.'"

...You're addicted to hottie nun-boobs?

"A Malawian court convicted a Catholic priest and a nun of disorderly conduct Thursday after they were caught engaged in a sexual act in a parked car with tinted windows. The Malawian priest, 43, and the 26-year-old nun from neighboring Zambia spent the night in police cells after being caught in the act Wednesday, police said."

...You're addicted to tiger-cock?

"A 13-year-old girl testified Monday that a Walt Disney World worker dressed as the beloved character Tigger fondled her breast while she posed for a photo with him and her mother."

I happen to be an addict of all four. But with hard work and a little bit of group therapy, I know I can beat the addiction to tiger-cock. I just know it.

2 Comments:

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

How cool! They get to try on the Tigger costume in the privacy of the deliberation room. It's like dress up in a whole sick and sadistic manner.

You know what they say about plushy costumed Tiggers with bulky paws? They get their asses tossed in the slamma!

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

wow. my head is spinning. i mean, wow.

 

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