Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Welcome to the Machine

Our town hath been invaded by Grand Ol' Partiers and the people who hate them...but I wouldn't even know it. This thing really hasn't even affected my life at all, to tell you the truth, which is just more proof that Manhattan's East Side is a totally different world than the West. Might as well be Jersey over there. So far, the Ace Cowboy's clearly beating the President Cowboy in gettin' around NYC.

Mayor Bloomberg is happy to have the Republicans in town, a town in which maybe one out of every five people vote for the convening party. He's so happy they're here that he misspoke horribly yesterday, a ridiculous slip that flew largely under the radar (maybe it wasn't under it, but I hadn't heard the remark 'til today). During Bloomberg's brief spech yesterday, the Mayor alluded to the fact that he and Gov. George Pataki had "laid the tombstone for the site of the Freedom Tower" in lower Manhattan. He clearly meant to say "cornerstone." Yikes. Watch out for that first step, Mayor Mike, it's a doooozy.

I watched the speeches by former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and Sen. John McCain last night, and I was largely bored. This is going to be the theme for this convention -- not outrage or disgust, but boredom. The GOP is clever as shit, they really are: They carefully chose a list of moderates who will not argue for the party's real platform -- it's a classic bait and switch. They get Rudy and McCain and Ahnold (so greeaat to beee he-uh) up there to be the faces, but these guys aren't with the party on key social issues. They're not up there to suck you in on the issues, they're up there to tout Georgey Boosh as a strong leader. There up there to say patriotic catchphrases and things like, "You know, we're just not going to let the terrorists determine where we have political conventions, where we go, how we travel. We're Americans, the land of the free and the home of the brave." Well, thanks Rudy, but we're not going to let the terrorists determine where we have political conventions? What the fuck? First of all, WE DID. They bombed New York, all of a sudden the RNC comes to NYC for the first time ever. They DID determine where we have our conventions. And is that what we're most concerned about? We should fight back on terror because we don't want them affecting the locations of our non-important political conventions?! I'm sure the next terrorist bombing is going to come with a note that says, "Stay out of Omaha, bitches."

Like I said, I wasn't outraged or embarassed or disgusted, I was just bored. Rudy running for President in 2008? Let him, I thought his speech was about as well-delivered as a large baby from a woman with a small vagina. Wait, what? Anyway, I want to hear Trent Lott and Rick Santorum and those dudes get up there and go to town on coloreds and homos and the horned Jews. That's exciting, that would drive ratings. I'd be on the edge of my seat. Instead of McCain calling Michael Moore a "disingenuous filmmaker," maybe Santorum and friends could have called him "that fat homeless dude who ate Paul Prudhomme and made that movie."

Ed Gillespie and the RNC shoulda went for it...they're convinced they've got the election wrapped up, why not use this chance to scare the shit out of people? They clearly missed the boat on that one. I mean, no mention yet of "activist judges." What's a Republican party without a mention of activist judges? C'mon, yer better than that, GOP'ers, just say it once, for me, for the Ace.

Anyway, that's my two cents after night one of this little shindig...

8 Comments:

At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How did Giuliani's comments about those terrorist friendly Germans and Italians fly under the radar? Maybe its just me, but I thought that we had already decided its not a good idea to alienate ourselves from Europe in the fight against terror.

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

In a week of doom and gloom in NY, I've hit upon something rather positive I'd like to share. For once, 'it' is not going around. Whenever you come down with some nasty cold, flu, or case of rec-tea, doesn't every single person you know sigh and say 'Well, it's going around"? And when somebody tells you they are sick, don't you say the same stupid shit? And at some point, haven't you had a conversation with somebody about how 'It's going around" is a meaningless phrase because apparently 'it' is always going around? Well, I'm pretty sure that for the past month, 'it' has not been going around. Although, with the RNC rocking the house, we might get treated to a nice round of anthraxian 'it' or maybe even some stimulating mustard gaseous 'it.' But we can at least be thankful for an it-less August. It's the simple things, Bullet.

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Bartyboy, I'm with ya. And I even doubt that Annie Thrax or her Uncle Ricin will rear their ugly heads.

There are indeed things to be thankful for...but I didn't think my post was all that doom and gloom, was it?

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Not your post, as much as the entire attitude of 8 million people that live here. And I thought people in E-town bitched a lot.

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

well, i didnt watch the speeches, cause, frankly, i am an idiot and dont get it, but, i DID see the footage of some undercover cop getting a personal showing of stomp, now that was cool, riots = fun

there are some asians protesting across from the waldorf, not sure what there beef is, but they have these manicans set up showing serious beatings/brutality, i swear, these things were more lifelike than my own self, i was a second away from going up to one of them and saying "DUDE, you're bleeding all over the place, get a towel!!"

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

I never understood the point of these conventions. Do they expect some fence-sitting home viewer to all of a sudden fall for one party over the other, based upon flashy celebrity speakers and hundreds of fucking balloons falling from the ceiling?

Gimme the debates. That's where the meat of this election lies. (Although it's not like I havent made uo my mind yet or anything, but the debates are kinda fun. Anything without the biased cheering section in the background is cool with me.)

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Poophop, that's some funny stuff right there...I saw the footage of that Stomping, looked nutso. That dude was a plain clothes cop who got his ass beat.

Conventions rock, there's no better unintentional comedy in the world...

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

unreal clip ace, and did u also see that one cop trying to put back the silver barricade fence thingy-ma-bob as a wild pack of boars ran thru the area he/she (think it was a she) was trying to close off. great stuff, hey bitch, maybe now would be a good time to call for backup.

 

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