Monday, August 02, 2004

Wow, It's August

I mean, August? This year is just flying by. New Years Eve felt like just yesterday, and now it's almost time for the Red Sawx annual collapse. Since they actually made a great run in last year's playoffs, I'm sure this year's late season collapse will be twice as heart-wrenching. Good luck with that.

August means we're gettin' down to the nitty gritty in the good ol' sport of beisbol, as the non-waiver trade deadline has passed and teams are gearing up for the stretch run. The Yanks dumped Jose Contreres this weekend, opting to go the rest of the way with perennial awfulness Esteban Loaiza. In truth, I happen to like the move -- it was fairly obvious to everyone but Big Stein that this guy just doesn't have what it takes to put his stuff together and dominate the top-tier teams. Will Loaiza be any better, or is this just trading a mediocre ham sandwich with mustard for one with mayo? I don't know, fuck you, get off my case. For real though b, the bottom line is that an upgrade is an upgrade...we just have to see if this is indeed the upgrade people think it is.

As accurately predicted by the Ace Cowboy, Senorita Garciaparra was traded from the Sawx to the Cubbies this weekend. A great deal all around, as the Sawx dramatically upgraded their defense and the Cubbies shook up their lineup like an Orangina. Both teams are trying to make a serious run at their league's respective wild cards, but at most one of them are going to make the postseason. My bold prediction: Neither will. Even bolder prediction: Manny Ramirez will get hit by a bus on his way to Fenway sometime in September and Jason Varitek will be punched in the cock by a transvestite hooker named Toni Danza.

Here's a great story about my fantasy baseball team's newest pitcher (my Nancy Reagan squad made a huge trade for pitching help this weekend). The Rocket spittin seeds...

So my friend JG and his gal bumped in the Flying Hilton Sisters at Jet East in the Hamptons this weekend. Apparently, Paris complimented his gal on her dress, or so I have been told. Ordinarily, I wouldn't report such gossipy crap, but it led to a great line from his roommate. "I think in the pantheon of worst places ever, it goes something like 1) Hell 2) Jet East 3) Fallujah." I couldn't agree more.

One more cup of coffee for the road -- if you haven't already, go to Mulgrew's site or click on this link to see a hilarious Will Ferrell video.

P.S. Mousey stink-fingered Bunny Cody.

4 Comments:

At 12:44 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

I've never even been to the Hamptons. I hope I'm not missing much.

(Ironic thing is, I live in a development called "The Hamptons")

Go figure!

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Does Tara Reid come to your house and flash her breasts to your parents?

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

RE: Nomar Trade

Ace: 1
Mulgrew: 0

I have not yet begun to fight.

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Mulgrew, to borrow a line from Frank the Tank, "You know it...You know it."

Funny how before they announced the deal, I started to believe that he wouldn't be dealt. But it's a good move for the Sawx and a good move for the Cubbies. End of story. End of Days. "It's sooo great to be hee-uh on Smahkdown, promoooting my new mooovie End of Days" (Gov. Schwarzenegger, 1999).

 

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