Friday, September 10, 2004

How You Do-in'

So I walked into my apartment at 8 pm last night, all set to kill an hour before the kickoff of the first professional foosball game of the season. Bong blows and a schmeared bagel, sounded nice to me. And then I remembered that the series premiere of Joey was being TiVoed. "Allright," Ace thought, "let's see what this friggin' thing is all about." A night of premieres: this dude and some foosball.

Whether you liked Friends or even if you hated it, you have to admit that Joey Tribbiani is one of the all-time funniest "dumb guy" characters in sitcom history. Monica may have made you want to commit suicide when you heard her voice, Ross's shtick wore thin at times and Chandler's sense of humor ran out faster than candy from a Pez dispenser. But Joey was special. He truly captured that brand of dumb not everybody could pull off, the brand that made you think "This guy could really be my dumb friend Joey."

He wasn't flaky dumb like Phoebe; he wasn't over-the-top, unbelievably dumb like Cody from Step By Step (who I believe starred in Kickboxer 2 and then kickboxed his real wife down the stairs); he wasn't small-town hokey dumb like Lowell from Wings; he wasn't so-book-smart-the-writers-had-to-make-him-really-dumb like Screech; and this may sound blasphemous to our one or two older readers, but he wasn't frontal lobotomy dumb like Coach from Cheers, who I kinda wanted to strangle sometimes. And I never fell for the dumb guy acts of Coach's Dauber, Michael Kelso, any of the Three's Company chicas, Skippy or Urkel, Night Court's Bull and countless others.

Besides Joey, only two other characters in sitcom history displayed to me the type of dumbness that I can get behind. One is clearly Woody Boyd, who was so funny sometimes I made a bit of wee wee in me trousers. Woody had some lines and some facial expressions that were nothing short of Emmy-worthy. The other, and if anyone debates this with me I may lop off their right tit with my molars, is none other than Buddy Lembeck. When Charles lived with the Pembrokes, Buddy was this frat boy, fun-lovin' dude who chased around skirts all day. But when they moved the Powells in, and Nicole Eggert's budding breasts joined the show, Buddy became a star. A fucking star. This guy had classic lines like, "I just had a great invention -- instant water, just add water." And he said it like he meant it! If Charles in Charge were re-introduced via reruns these days, a whole new generation of Buddence fans would be born. That, I guarantee you.

Anyway, back to Joey. Maybe it was my ridiculously low expectations, but I actually liked this show. I thought there was no way they could spin Joey's character off and make him truly funny, but the writers did a pretty good job of provoking the guffaws from my belly. How many new sitcoms over the past decade have made you actually laugh? Sure there were things about it that didn't sit quite right to me, like Joey's 20-year-old nephew who works as a rocket scientist at Cal Tech, or something crazy like that. And I cannot even begin to explain why I really liked it (I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, all I can think of is what I didn't like about it -- like, how the fuck did the college-aged kid from Road Trip end up playing a 20-year-old here? Why take Joey and put him into a world filled with stupid people? Can Joey really afford to live in a such a nice place in LA as an out-of-work actor?). But I did like it, I laughed, quite a few times, out loud, by myself. And it was generally *good*. It worked. It worked well. And the chemistry between Matt LeBlanc and Drea de Matteo's tits was outstanding.

That's my two cents. As for the foosball game, I never thought I'd say this, but man I wish I were a Pats fan. These guys are just damn good, well-coached (except for the last three minutes of that game -- I mean, stop throwing the ball, RUN IT, they have no timeouts!), and Tom Brady is the fuckin' man. So when the Jets meet those fockers in the AFC Championship, consider me officially worried. But I'll give the Pats their much deserved props, if only because the Red Sawx lost a game and a half to the Yanks yesterday. Rock 'n Roll.

Unrelated Quote of the Day, from some viewer mail thing on CNN (paraphrased): "If politicians are talking about banning these attack ads, can they start by banning the John Basedow work-out tapes commercials? This guy is on every channel, every five minutes."

That's very true. Actually, my roommate and I legitimately talked about me going as Basedow for Halloween. But I don't want to dye my hair -- this guy is fully dying his hair blonde by the way -- anyone else notice that? Just me? Either way, this guy looks exactly like a ripped David Byrne, no?
Unrelated Google search of the day (how this person got to Slack): "Jorge Campos" died of AIDS.


At 11:55 AM, Blogger Seyeko said...

That was one helluva blog Ace. You trying to get me fired here? *giggle*

I too watched and enjoyed Joey last night, but that awful neighbor next door Alex was the pits. No chemistry whatsoever. I better idea would have been instead of making her a married woman Joey seduces, have her turn out to be a lesbian (with live-in lovah off course) whom Joey is able to "turn around" and take a ride on the bologna pony. Sounds like a much better alternative to me.

I think the best moment of the night was when Stiflers mom gave the camera a good 8 second peep show. She's going to be the Janice to "Joey", although I hope I don't get too annoyed with her shtick.

I counted one blatent Friends reference, when Joey mentioned Chandler. Okay 2, if you count Gina thinking Chandler was gay. I wonder how long before he makes a cameo on Joey?

Let's hope MLB is able to surpass the dreaded Seinfeld curse that plaugued JLD, MR and JA.

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Call the police! Fearless blogger Bullet Cabellero has been doppleganged by every mindless, gay-from-the-waist-down urban hipster I've ever met.

You lost me at, "Anyway, back to Joey."

Sad times.

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Say it ain't so, Bux...The Bullet ain't allowed to enjoy some sitcom? That's a bit too anti-hipster doofus for me. I likes what I likes.

Anyway, back to Widespread Panic.

At 12:18 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Oh, and Seyeko, it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what the hell those initials were at the bottom of your comment...silly me, it's Friday, I'm not thinking. Any comment with "bologna pony" in it is cool, though...

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Sitcoms? Yes. Sitcoms that middle school girls routinely tape, catalogue, and model their lives after? No.

Anyway, back to you're not watching football with us tonight because...

At 1:08 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Dude, you know I love middle school girls, what do you expect? Gives me a pick-up line or two. I'm not saying it's my new favorite show, but it's watchable and it made me chuckle. It's no Scrubs, best sitcom on TV. And it's certainly no NewsRadio, most underrated sitcom of all time.

Anyway, back to that allergenic cat of yours I'd like to Reggie Roby out the window...

At 1:13 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

kudos ace, newsradio is a godsend

---jimmy james

At 1:52 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Fucking cat defenestrator.

Anyway, back to Character Zero in the yearbook...

At 2:13 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Running list of things that warrant their own post:

1. The State
2. NewsRadio
3. Buddy Lembeck
4. Starbux's need for a serious attitude adjustment before next fall

Anyway, back to the Chicago Humanities Festival. Oh, the horror, oooooh the Chicago Humanities Festival.

At 2:46 PM, Blogger Seyeko said...

This tastes like Muppet!

At 4:04 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Starbux: Potential contributor or heckling terrorist?

Anyway, back to...

What, is there an echo in here?

What is this, a rhetorical question?

At 4:42 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

We love Bart Starbux. Stick around awhile, willya?

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

A few things:

1) Ace, you're gay. I mean, "Joey"? Really?

2) How does Drea, who is 30 (tops), have a 20 year old son?

3) Love John Basedow. Ever since I became an internet quasi-celebrity, my roommates and I have a hilarious (to us) joke about me and John Basedow joining forces for a public service announcement for some random disease. Like:

Basedow: [walking on screen] "Hi, I'm fitness celebrity John Basedow."
Me: [walking on screen] "And I'm internet celebrity Jason Mulgrew."
John: "You may know us for our dedication to fitness and dick jokes, but today we'd like to talk about something much more serious. Isn't that right Jason?"
Me: "That's right John. It's called scoliosis, and it's affecting the posture of hundreds of Americans all over America, and the world."

Well, you get it. It goes on like this for hours.

At 10:53 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

In: Bashing Joey
Five Minute Ago: Bashing Friends
Out: Liking Anything People Might See as "Gay"

In: Internet Quasi-celebrities
Five Minutes Ago: Douchebags
Out: More Douchebags

Lookin' good on that Curtis Martin prediction, Jason...


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