Friday, October 15, 2004

Good Morning, It Is

First, here are two comical Yankees vee Red Sawx-related notes:

1. A clever little jokey joke from my favorite Sawx fan in Beantown, the Firekid (and here's to hoping we get to play tonight, but I hear it's storm time in the Eastern skies): Johnny Damon, he looks like Jesus, but he throws like Mary.

2. The Red Sawx took the 11:30 Delta Shuttle from New York to Boston yesterday. And that was, you guessed it, Flight 1918. What are the fuckin' odds? That's not even a joke. That's even more coincidental than when the Kobe accuser took a vaction and rented a house on 8 Laker Way in Rapeville, Colorado. OK, that last part I made up. But the Flight 1918 stuff, true.

(Actually, it's highly unclear from the article whether it was the Sawx on that flight with Shaughnessy or just the writer on his own flight, but it's better to just extrapolate and listen to what I say. Plus, Shaughnessy is "The Curse" guy as far as Boston sports go, so even if it wasn't the team, still a cool story. But, it probably was just Shaughnessy, so this story is weak. Jesus, how long is this parenthetical statement?).

Moving on...Is there a reason we've now had three presidential debates and all anyone wants to talk about in the aftermath is Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter? It was a cheap shot, it wasn't a cheap shot, who the fuck cares? Hey, guess what, we have some sort of war thing going on in Iraq, the economy is creating about six and a half jobs a month, a record three million people have completely exhausted all federal unemployment benefits, 45 million people have no health insurance, more people are mired in poverty than ever before, our record trade deficit with the world is approaching an unsustainable $600 billion this year, our budget deficit hit a new record of $412.6 billion this fiscal year, and the list goes on and on...

I hate to be the guy who says, "Shit's fucked up," but it is. And now all we're hearing in the media is that Kerry took a cheap shot by calling Cheney's daughter out for munchin' the box and toungin' some poon. Oh stop it, assfaces, let's just focus on the issues. The fucking issues. Had Cheney's daughter been, say, asexual, maybe this whole issue would never have been brought up. Let's focus. Goddamn, it's amazing that these two bozo deluxes are our choices for leader of the free world, ain't it? One complete schmuck and one hipster doofus.

Well, had to get that off my chest. We now return you to your regularly scheduled are two of my favorite stories of the early morning, two funny little stories involving very smart and entrepeneurial teenagers:

1. Strike a bonanza for 12-year-old entrepreneur

2. Woman receives unique insurance proposal

And just for the hell of it, here's another little story for ya, just because I'm feeling good this morning and in the mood to spread love...


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