Friday, October 08, 2004

Joe Nuthin'

I got nuthin', Slackers. I have that constipation face working right now, straining hard to think of something funny to say, or even something horribly un-funny to say. And I have nuthin' for ya.

The only thing I can think about right now are the Neville Brothers. Earlier this week I tossed (someone's salad) around the idea of heading to the Beacon tonight to see the Nevilles and Ratdog. But a wicked combination of the ALDS Game 3 and the fact that the show and subsequent tour were cancelled due to A.C. Bob Weir's exhaustion prevented me from doing that. Besides, knowing my history of supersized sloth and boundless apathy, I don't think I would have been motivated enough to purchase tickets and head to the Upper West Side for the show.

Short story long, in a cool twist of fate, I ran into two of the four (or five?) Neville Brothers today outside my office. They look really fuckin' old, and strangely enough, I'm pretty sure they are the two youngest ones. At first I thought that Aaron had that large planet removed from above his right eye, but now that I think about it, I guess I was looking at his brother Art. Aaron, then, had his rather large back to me, although I still noticed he had as many as 14 and as few as nine crosses on his body, either pieces of jewelry or tattoos on his body and face. I guess he's voting for Bush.

So now I've been sitting here singing "Hey Pocky Way" all day, which is pretty funny because it isn't even a Neville Brothers song. But I'm almost positive that Art Neville sang it with The Meters, so that's the crossed wires connection in my head. Not that 95 percent of you know who either of these bands are anyway so I can lie through my teeth, but I just don't want to give any false information (most of you probably think Aaron Neville's just that guy who sang that song with Linda Ronstadt). I don't know much, but I know I love Jews, and that may be, all I need, to know. Look at these eyyyyyes...

See, I got nuthin' today. Not a thing. So, I'll just document my weekend football picks and move on (dot-org). Another horrid week last week, dropping the Ace Cowboy to just three games over the .500 mark at 30-27-3. Unacceptable. So I vow to charge back with some good times this week. And here's the short, short version...Do you? Do you? You're married. Here we go: Giants, Jets, Patriots, Browns, Colts, Lions, Bucs, Vikings, Jags, Panthers, Seahawks, Cards, Redskins, Packers. Best bets: Colts, Vikings, Jets. Eat it.

One last weekend prediction: President Schmuck has a pretty good rebound against Big Head Douche tonight, but instead of a big television crowd, most people are watching the baseball game or eating at the Olive Garden. No bounce in the polls, Big Bounce with Owen Wilson in my VCR.

Go Yank'ums. Let's win this...

5 Comments:

At 2:46 PM, Blogger spicoli said...

Happy Simchat Torah, Ace!

 
At 3:06 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Jews are the worst kind of people. Simchat Torah yourself, Spicoli.

 
At 4:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, i thought aaron neville was the author of moby dick.
only kidding, in that friday, 4:30 kind of way.

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger Army Archerd said...

I got somethin to discuss...Tony Gwynn's weight. Honestly, is that Tony Gwynn on ESPN or Lardass from Stand By Me? "Don't take it so hard Tony, I got traded for Wade Boggs and a side of rice pilaf." -- Sosa.

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Who's fatter: Tony Gwynn or Grimace?

Who's whiter sounding: Tony Gwynn or Carlton Banks?

Who hit .394 in the strike-shortened 1994 season: Tony Gwynn or Rick Dees?

 

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