Thursday, October 21, 2004

More Ballcraps

Ace, I think you're absolutely right. There's no way that this team is going to be blown up. But for the wrong reasons.

Yes, we were 3 measely outs away from the World Series. Yes, if anyone should have been MVP of this series, it was Dave Roberts, who kind of looks like a less-retarded Dave Henderson...but still a Dave Henderson in need of remedial classes who pees at a urinal with his pants pulled down all the way. And yes, could we have won the Series this year against either the Dead Jack Bucks or the Incomplete Stars? Absolutely.

But we're saddled with aging veterans who started to fall apart at the end of the year. Our first baseman is worth $75 million over the next 4 years and he's slowly being eaten from the inside out by worms. Our pitching rotation right now is what? Moose, Tarts, "Deer in Headlights" Javier, and who? Duque? Jerk Brown? And who is out there to get? A lefty like Milton? How can that actually help?

But the biggest loss suffered yesterday was the loss of Yankee optimism based on the invincibility of the pinstripes. We are accustomed to saying, "Oh George will get somebody...we're the fuckin' Yankees." Well, Boston's win has tempered that. Who cares if we're the Yankees? What does that get us besides a (let's face it) crappy stadium and a ton of high-priced, yet rather unreliable, talent? And I think that invincibility accounted for a lot of wins over the years. All of the dramatic heroics. That's gone and I think it will be a long slow decline before we see an upswing.

--Bux asked in the comments section before about A-Rod being a bust. I'm not sure I would call him a bust just yet. He's got way too much talent and there's much to be said for a left-side of the infield of Jeter and A-Rod. I don't think that can really be topped. But his presence is indicative of the complete lack of chemistry on this Yankees team. It's like that move with Meg Ryan's boobs and Mark Ruffalo's cocknballs: no chemistry. Maybe by playing together for the next 5 years, Jeter and A-Rod can resurrect some of that good will. But, without the cool gutsy roll players of years' past, there's not a whole lot these two guys can do. It's nice having A-Rod's steak but a side of Joe Girardi's creamed spinach or Knoblauch's potatoes au gratin makes the meal that much better. A-Rod is not a bust. Just a sign that things in the Bronx need to change. We need to focus on the farm system. I just fear that's never going to happen and it'll be 1988 before we know it. And, "Hey Garlic, could you please pass the au-grat...OH! SHIT, Sorry Keith Olberman's mom. You got au-gratin all up in yo' grill."

--Here's what I worry about: Is Boston winning yesterday way cooler for the Boston fans than anything I'll ever experience as a fan in my lifetime? I'd have to say so. That cannot be topped. And that's really scary. I can point to all of the awesome moments and even added up, they can't match the sense of relief and exuberance in Boston last night. I think the Yankees would have to beat the Sox coming from 3 games to none down with Tony Clark and a bunch of midgets to possibly top this one. And midgets are scary.


At 3:57 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Donnie's a posting machine! As D.J. Buck once asked of me, "Should Donnie be here today...YES!"

In order to feel what the Red Sawx and their fans felt last night, you'd have to endure decades of unhappiness and failure and misery. So here's the real question, Don: Would you trade the feeling of four world championships and two runs to the Series for this ONE night of exuberation? Maybe the answer's yes, but it's a close call. I think I'd stick with the joys I've felt as a Yankee fan over what Sawx fans felt last night any day of the week and three times on Thursday.

Oh, and Donnie and I were actually at the Chucky Garlic hitting Olbermann's mom in the head game. What a sight. Even from the bleachers you knew that he cracked someone good.

At 3:59 PM, Blogger ethan said...

"Is Boston winning yesterday way cooler for the Boston fans than anything I'll ever experience as a fan in my lifetime?"

this is an excellent question. sadly, yes. but i have to point out that i agree with that sentiment exponentially more the older the sox fan in question gets.

up until 96, yankee fans of our generation had never seen a dominating yankee squad. my dad grew up in the city with mantle. me? not so much. growing up in ny in the 80's, everyone i knew was a met fan and the yanks basically sucked. until 96, my life as a yankee fan was not that much different than that of sox fans our age. at least the sox were good in the 80's. all we had was mattingly and his disheveled back. and tolleson/espinosa at short. it was not good. plus i remember being severely tormented in 94-95 when the yanks were losing in rather sox-like fashion to the m's.

but our redemption took 1-2 years, not 80+, which is why i think your statment applies extra to sox fans who are our parents age. yawkey way should have dozens of ice luges set up specifically for fans 35 years and older.

At 4:00 PM, Blogger ethan said...

and hookers offering free crack for those 55 and up. ya know, senior discount and all.

At 4:11 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

excellent points, thats why whenever i hear the 1918 chant i go, dude, how bout 1979, i'm only 25, i dont give a damn what happened when i was still a nice cute young little sperm swimmin around in my daddies nut, ewhhhh, i just threw up

At 4:19 PM, Blogger spicoli said...

Does anyone know what actually DID happen on According to Jim last night?

At 4:26 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Oh, spicoli, it was hilarious...Belushi kept saying "I'm from Chicago, yeah, Chicago Chicago Chicago Chicago, my brother had talent, my only good role ever was in The Principal, Chicago Chicago, go Cubbies, go Bears, did I mention my brother yet?" and everyone laughed uproariously. Then ABC picked up like 10 more seasons of hilarity.

At 4:35 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

didnt he complain about not getting any sex from his wife also?? that bit hasnt been funny since alfred bundy

At 4:53 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

totally off the topic, just saw this gem on

'melo, plays on the nuggets, u cant make this stuff up, smoke em if u got em


At 5:30 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Wait- Don't you guys know what all of these things feel like? You say that it is an unbelievable thing for sawx fans to feel and New York fans never will, but what about the fact that YOU ARE ALL NY RANGERS FANS?

Don't tell me that those 1940 chants don't still ring through your ears...

At 5:52 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

See, that's why you're great, AGU. I wrote half a comment about that earlier, but deleted it because I didn't want to bring hockey into this.

The other difference is that while the 1940 chants KILLED me growing up, I didn't experience too much disappointment as a Ranger fan before they won. Sure it was 54 years, and sure those chants sucked, but only once or twice did a great Ranger team fall short of the Cup title. So it's similar, but it's not half as bad as what most Sawx fans have been through. There's no Boone equivalent for Ranger fans...

Plus, there was no Yankees equivalent. We had no rival other than the Isles, and we RAN through those guys that season. Wasn't even close. 22-3 in a four-game sweep. The Devils series that year was incredible, but they weren't our natural rival the way the Isles were.

Anyway, I think the analogy is close, but not nearly the same, which is why I deleted what I was gonna say.

All that being said, that victory was UNREAL as a fan, MUCH MUCH more insane than any Yankee victory. It was also my first real championship as a fan growing up, so that one is special. Plus, I went to about 15 regular season games, 3 of the 4 Isles playoff games, one Caps game in round 2, two Devils games (including Game Seven -- Rangers changing, Fetisov for the Devils plays it cross ice into the far corner, Matteau swoops into intercept, Matteau sweeps it in front, he scores, Matteu, Matteau, Matteau, Stephane Matteau, and the Rangers have one more hill to climb baby, let us mount Vancouver, the Rangers are headed to the finals!) and Game 5 of the Cup Finals. I loved that team, I really did. Too bad hockey sucks these days...wait, what's hockey? Pull what out?

At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

come on: curly sue. i rest my case.


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