Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Dennis Martinez

I might, just might, have voted for George Bush if he came out and campaigned on absolutely no issues and instead just moved from state to state, using his name "George Bush" set to the theme song from NBC Saturday morning's Hang Time:

"George Bush, hangin' together,
George Bush, puttin' it on the line,
Me n' my friends n' George Bush"

That would have taken real guts, guts like the girl on Hang Time with the unfortunately enormous nose needed to play with the guys.

Imagine Brokaw asking things like, "Mr. President, where were the weapons of mass destruction?" and Bush would answer "Gee, Tom, you know, um, 'George Bush, puttin' it on the line.'"

So Ace was right. I already voted. Didn't have school today since the professors are all stationed in Florida and Ohio, prepared to litigate the shit out of this election. My criminal law professor just filed a law suit against Al Roker for the bad weather in Ohio. When asked about the suit, Roker was unable to answer as he was masturbating to an advertisement for chocolate syrup. (Too soon?)

The polling place I voted at was a synogogue. I did see some "Gangs of New York"-style voter fraud as uncircumsized men would vote, then visit the resident moyle downstairs and then vote again as circumsized men. The old switcheroo.

So I'll try to keep posting some updates throughout the day.


At 2:08 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I like the California Dreams theme song better, and the cast was much cooler. I mean, Sly, he was a slick dude. Plus, the blonde chick was a little hot.

At 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I might, just might, have voted for George Bush because the damn voting machine was broken. I am sure that I didn't cast a vote in any race other than the presidential one. I likely voted for Kerry, but there is a small chance I voted for Bush, or for no one at all. The nice illegal polish immigrant running my voting precinct informend me that she was sorry the voting machine broke, but the only thing I could do to try to change things was to go to court. Clearly this was not a viable option. Even though my State of NY vote likely doesn't mean smack, I'm still a little upset that that was my contribution to the most important election ever since Puck was voted off the Real World.

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Bart Starbux said...

Woke up today with a nasty little hangover (Thanks, Don, you lawn and electronic bowling bastard), stumbled to my polling place, and immediately spotted a long line. Pissed but resigned and proud to do my duty as an American, I qued up. A full twenty minutes went by before I realized I was in the line for the Election Day bake sale, not for the Election Day election. Changed lines, voted in two seconds, spit on a muffin, and went to work. Great start to the day and my 27th year.


At 2:36 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Oh Bux, you bastard, that's genius...I haven't read genius poetry like that since Leapin' Lanny Poffo changed his image.

At 4:18 PM, Blogger ethan said...

the girl was the only one on hang time (besides reggie theus) who could dribble, so i had a crush on her. and her nose.


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