Thursday, November 04, 2004


**Breaking News**
Palestinian leader/known terrorist Yasser Arafat reportedly has died in France, according to Israeli state and private media cited by Agence France-Presse. Arafat, 75, had been undergoing medical treatment at a Paris hospital.

The Palestinian prime minister is denying reports that Yasser Arafat has died, according to the Associated Press. A French hospital official also denied Arafat has died a moment ago. So apparently, he's not dead yet, although Israeli TV is now calling him "brain dead." That's just not nice. Other TV stations around the world are saying the same of our president.

During his press conference right now, a reporter informed the president that Arafat had died (whether true or not)...and then asked him what he thought. Bush replied, "My first reaction is, 'God bless his soul.'" My thoughts exactly.

Who was the big winner on Election Day? Cold, hard cash, that's who. I think it was Bill Frist who said on the Senate floor last year, "Cash rules everything around me, CREAM, get the money, dollah dollah bill, y'all." That Frist, such a good talker. I'm not a talker. Anyway, in 96 percent of House races and 91 percent of Senate races that had been decided by mid-day yesterday, the candidate who spent the most money won, according to a post-election analysis by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics. Plain and simple: Cash rules.

There's gotta be a better way, whether it's public financing or matching funds, but we have to ensure you cannot just buy elections in this country. Bloomberg, Corzine, all the guys this time around, what are we doing here? If you have some cash, you get the influence? Is that for real? It's one thing for Steinbrenner or Huizenga to buy a championship or two, but this is lawmaking, decision-making, this is people's lives we're talking about here. This is my life here we're talking about, we're not talking about something else, we're talking about my life (Corky St. Claire, 1996).

Wanna know about the youth vote, by the way? What the hell happened to all the young people who were supposed to change this election?! Did they just hang out and get stoned all day like I did in 2000? Did they show up to the booths and find a six-hour wait (spies in Columbus tell me that Ohio State University, with all its 60,000 students or so, had just two voting booths)? Well, it looks like they came out more this election than in previous years, but they were swallowed whole by the I Love God-ders and new voters on the right. Here's a decent take on the matter.

The fallout from Election Day continues, and some people are taking it better than others. Just look at yesterday's Slack posts and comments for examples of that. As for the real public eye guys, Michael Moore was a bit pissed off, and made a mosaic on his site of the US casualties in Iraq, very clever and I give him three gold stars and an extra snack pack. Well, he may not need the extra snack pack. Surprisingly, Billionaire Bush-hater George Soros took the news rather well, kind of the same way as me actually, saying on his website: "Obviously, I am distressed at the outcome of the election. I hope, but don't trust, that the second Bush administration will have learned something from the mistakes of the first. What is at stake is our ability to recognize our own fallibility."

And Canada released a statement, saying "Nice try, ya hosers, but you're gonna have to wait to get in here, to live here and work here, and wait to come to our bars and fill yourself with the piss and vinegar, eh?" So yeah, if you're thinking about Canada, where everything's basically free, it's gonna be a little while before that materializes.

But thank Arlen Specter for getting re-elected...this guy might be the last Republican friend we got. Specter knows what's up on the bench.

Lastly, not only does a Bush victory mean that everyone around the world has to convert to Christianity, it also means the animals around the world have to as well. Take this, for example, a man in Taipei survived a fight with a lion after jumping into a den at the Taipei Zoo and trying to convert the lions to Christianity. Fan-fucking-tastic.

More to follow...I didn't hear no bell.


At 12:00 PM, Blogger ethan said...

wow ace - a wutang AND an old school reference both in the first paragraph (after the arafat stuff)?! that's a thing of beauty.

you raise a very valid question in campaign finance. clearly no easy solution there. in the past i have offered the idea of full private funding but that opens a whole 'nother can of worms...

At 12:13 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Thanks Ethan, references are only as good as the auidence that picks 'em up...and we have a lot of pop culture/allusion geniuses 'round here these days.

Here's an interesting article about the possibility of clean elections -- sorry, don't know how to hypertext it in the comments section, so you gotta cut and paste:

I think it's the only way to get career politicians and douchebags out of Washington...we need more blue collar folks, some more younger professionals with real life experience, retired teachers and policemen. You know that about one-third of all Congressional members are rich, white lawyers? You think they can represent the folks in the ghetto, the folks in the middle of the country? I can't either, but I can represent the somewhat educated stoner crowd who likes sports and Aaron Sorkin's writing. Bottom line, we need more representatives that actually represent views of their constituents...that's just not happening right now. But if we made it so that all elections were funded with public money and candidates got an equal amount, I'm sure people would get more bang for their buck from Congress...

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I should add I don't think that clean elections would be a catch-all solution, but I think it would help immensely.

At 7:45 PM, Blogger ahren said...

campaign finance is one of my favorite discussion issues... i just find it fascinating. for the most part, i'm of the opinion that any sort of restriction on individual freedom and how people can spend their own money is absolutely retarded. and i think using public money (other people's money collected by the government!!!) to finance campaigns is disgusting.

at the same time, it's annoying to me when some jackass wins an election cuz he puts up more signs and buys more tv commercials.

when it comes down to it though, i think the real fault lies with the voters, not with the money or the money spender. to argue otherwise is to assume that sovereignty of choice doesn't belong to the individual, but rather to his/her surrounding environment to some extent, and i can't get on board with that.


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