Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Return of D-I-Y Day

*Breaking News Update* 10:05 ET

A second case of mad-cow disease may have been found in the United States, the Agriculture Department told the Associated Press Thursday morning.

Information is INCONCLUSIVE though, so nobody freak out. Seriously, they really don't know yet what the deal is. Just puttin' it out there to incite some panic, no big deal.
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I got nuthin' right now...drawing a total blank here. I'm busy, I'm annoyed, a bit nauseous too. Basically, it's not a good time to be the Ace Cowboy. Here's all I got:

I fucking knew we'd be talking about this MNF intro debacle for days. We all knew it. It's amazing, the media just doesn't let the frivolity die anymore, but the serious issues so easily fade into what Mike Tyson calls "bolivian." What a yoke, really. We talk about Janet J's nubian nips nonstop for months and Scotty P's fishing alibi every day for a year, we discuss Michael Jackson's court troubles and R. Kelly's urinary excitement all the time. And we never let this stuff die. But anything real and important gets quietly shuffled to the back of the paper and off the radar faster than you can say WMDs, CIA leak, Joe Wilson, Richard Clarke, missing explosives and the case for war. ESPN, CNN, FOX News, all these 24-hour non-stop cable sports and news channels just don't have enough programmiing to fill the void, and they harp on all the shit that should be swept away. It's gross. The fact that CNN is still talking about the MNF intro this morning, three days later (when they should have ignored it all together), is a sign that this network eats my shorts. Give it up, asshats.

Perhaps these stories don't die because some non-Billy Ripken fuckfaces continue to weigh in with their horrible opinions. Yesterday, Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy found the MNF intro racially offensive. Racially offensive! I can't get over that, racially offensive!

"To me that's the first thing I thought of as an African-American," Dungy said Wednesday. "I think it's stereotypical in looking at the players, and on the heels of the Kobe Bryant incident I think it's very insensitive. I don't think that they would have had Bill Parcells or Andy Reid or one of the owners involved in that," he added, a reference to the coaches in the game.

I mean, c'mon Dungy...racist? That's ridicurous (the rines are crossed). Even though I'm talking about it right now, here's to hoping this fucking story goes away fast. If you wanna focus on an offbeat story for three days, try this one, nothing but hilariousness.

Anyway, I doubt I'll be posting again today, but I'm sure I'll be checking in for comments. And the Good Lord Jesus knows that Donnie is a Busy Man Approaching Finals, so let's have another D-I-Y Day here at Slack -- sound off on anything above, bring up a topic of your own, write an essay, quote a quote, do your own thang. The blog is yours...roam free, children, Do It Yourself Day is back.

9 Comments:

At 11:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, not to be all serious, but the reversal of freedom of speech in this country is becoming more and more annoying/scary/ominous. Know why MNF did the whole skit? Because Desperate Housewives is popular, people watch it...yet, we can't have a similar scene from that show on another show?! Please. If you don't like the show/skit, don't watch it!

 
At 11:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, not to be all serious, but the reversal of freedom of speech in this country is becoming more and more annoying/scary/ominous. Know why MNF did the whole skit? Because Desperate Housewives is popular, people watch it...yet, we can't have a similar scene from that show on another show?! Please. If you don't like the show/skit, don't watch it!

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Well said (twice), Anon. There are so many things wrong with this story I don't even wanna discuss it anymore.

Moving on, Spurrier has a deal in place to coach South Carolina next season. Good to see the Ol' Ballcoach back in action...

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger ethan said...

great point on mad cow alert. the gov't has made a similar announcements about impending terrorist attacks, something like "we know something will happen on our soil, but we can offer no information on where, when, or by what type of people. regardless, be afraid. very afraid."

that stuff screams cover-your-ass tactics.

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

This might be a bit over the top, but, i wish i was black (ok, maybe for just one day) so that i could scream "thats racist" every 2 seconds. dungy should be ddt'd, then tarred and feathered for his nonsensical statements

 
At 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

p to the hop careful, avid slack reader ethel22 is of said pigment and you shouldnt risk offending her

 
At 3:44 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

First of all, since when is Tony Dungy black? Guy's practically whiter than half the youth population of Long Island.

Racist or not, I like the thought of Tony Dungy being DDT'ed. Seriously, can we make this happen? I'd pay $1,000 to see Jake "The Snake" Roberts give that black honky a classic DDT on the 50-yard line. Who's with me?

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

Hell yeah ace, then macho man, aka slim jim whore could jump from the top of the dome and give him a flying elbow smash

side note, anyone see that story about the gotti kids getting beat up at the mall, just when i think there isnt a god he beats up the gotti kids for me, thanks god

 
At 9:32 AM, Blogger spanish miguel said...

In my outtatheloop state, i hadn't heard about this TO/nakedness stupidity until checking up on old slack. So what's my take? Well, lets put it this way. While it makes me feel genuinely disgusted to see the way so many people, not only hicks in hicktown but others i know, actually voted for Bush because he scared them into it, i am FAR more embarrassed to see the way the country reacts to nipples and asscracks on free tv. I mean, on HBO you got lesbian ejaculation all over Samantha's face and Sex and the City wins awards. But those goddamn hicks and those that pander to them... Harrumph!

 

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