Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Shakin' Down Sheff

Gotta love the New York Post (and the Daily News too)'s today's front page story for both papers:

A self-proclaimed minister tried to blackmail Gary Sheffield over alleged threesome sex tapes featuring the Yankee slugger's gospel-singer wife, another woman and R&B star R. Kelly, the player's rep and sources said yesterday.

Rufus Williams, the outfielder's business agent, revealed stunning details of the reputed plot to shake down his client for at least $20,000 to keep the raunchy tapes from surfacing and embarrassing the devoutly religious Sheffields.

The alleged footage of Sheffield's 28-year-old wife, DeLeon, Kelly, 36, and the unidentified other woman was said to have been made more than 10 years ago.

Click here for the rest of the juicy article, you gossip whores...

I love Sheff, he was clearly the Yank's MVP and almost the American League's MVP. He played with heart in every single game and rallied the team for much of the year, all the while playing with a bum shoulder held together with duct tape and chicken wire. But I'm rooting against DeLeon Sheffield on this one. This chick sang the National Anthem at two postseason games this year, Game 1 of the ALDS against Johan Santana and Game 7 of the infamous ALCS, and we lost both of them. She's bad luck and brought that shit to the Bombers. So I say she gets what she deserves, bad fucking luck, that DeLeon Sheffield.

Well, now that I think about it, I was at both of those games, too. Maybe I'm bad luck. Shit, have I ever slept with R Kelly on camera? Damn, I think I have. I'm fucked. Ah, can't worry about that now, I have to go read up on airline de-regulation, yaaaay!

Before I go, the Post is at it's a pretty funny little blurb about world hot dog eating champion Takeru Kobayashi.


At 9:59 AM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Is Rufus just the funniest name for a person EVER? I'm sorry, but I just can't take you seriously as a person if your name is Rufus. Doofus.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger stephie said...

Well, Ace... I would say if you've ever slept with R Kelly either on or off camera... You are not only fucked... You've been fucked! lol So, how was it??? Inquiring minds want to know.

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Uno, I do agree...horrible name. But there have been some cool Rufuses (or Rufi):

Rufus from Bill & Ted's was cool as shit. Rufus, featuring Chaka Khan sang the awesome tune "Tell Me Something Good." Some people like Rufus Wainwright, I really don't know who he is outside of his name.

And I hear the R. in R. Kelly stands for Rufus.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

I like Rufus Wainwright. He's the very talented and not-so-ambiguously gay son of Louden Wainwright. Louden, whose biggest claim to fame was playing a guitar strumming GI in one episode of MASH. That and making some good albums that nobody bought. Noone cares, I know. I just feel compelled to chime in whenever the post isn't about sports. Which reads like, "gak gak gak gak gak...." to me.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger ethan said...

wouldn't you want to extort someone, oh you know, less fucking TERRIFYING???

and this may be off topic, but maybe ol' ace has the answer (with that airline reading and all): how can major airlines declare bankruptcy yet still continue to offer flights?

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Gypsy, keep your yap shut over there about my sports posts! I'm a guy, I don't know about anything else...And great post today about your husband's party and the gambling kids.

Great point, Ethan. Sheff is waaaay too scary to be blackmailed. If I were gonna blackmail someone, I'd go after someone like Danny Devito.

As for the airline query -- I'll get back to you after I read up on all this stuff. Right now, I have not a clue.

At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't taken a math class in many a year, but if Sheff's wife is currently 28 and this video allegedly took place more than 10 years ago that would mean that she would have been under 18. Wouldn't this finally be the evidence to lock R. (I can't get aroused unless you haven't had your bat mitzvah yet) Kelly? Anybody?


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