Monday, November 29, 2004

Some Housekeeping

G'mornin' folks...lovely day, ain't it? Ah, eat shit.

We'll have a new post up in a little while, but I just wanted to take care of two quick housekeeping measures:

1. I want to wish my sister-in-law, who may or may not read this site today, a very happy birthday. So, Happy Happy to you, Sis Cowboy.

2. The very same sister-in-law in question forwarded me a new site for the "links" section: The IJC (stands for the Interchangeable Jappy Chick, what a concept). The anonymous site grew out of a pretty funny Craigslist post from a year ago...and a quick disclaimer, I don't endorse hating girls based on their religion, I endorse hating all people based on their religion, especially the Jews. Anyway, here's the CL post that started this kid's site:

"this was originally published on craigslist in september 2003

...i've got a few things i'd like to get off my chest:

1. frozen yogurt is not one of the basic food groups. it might be low fat, but it still has like 10 calories per oz., which means the 32 oz. medium you are diving into has around 320 calories. while we're on the topic, going straight to tasti-d-lite on your way home from the gym probably explains why your ass is big.

2. it's not normal to live in new york city, have your own apartment without a roommate, eat out every night and have multiple $300 handbags when you earn under $20k per year. that salary would technically qualify you as living below the poverty line. i've got an idea: stop taking your dad's $$, move to hoboken or queens, share a small apartment, stop going to saks every day after work, and start saving some money and taking responsiblity for your life.

3. is it possible to walk down the street and not talk on your cell phone? you're yapping away, completely oblivious to what's going on around you, waving your arms and gesturing wildly, talking loud enough so that anyone within a 10 foot radius can hear every word of your conversation about how you saw Ed Norton at some club last nite. nobody cares. put your phone away and pay attention to where you're going. i'm not going to grab you next time you're about to step in front of a bus.

4. if a guy takes you to dinner, whether or not you like him, the least you can do is say "thank you." also, at dinner please be prepared to talk about something other than the story about Justin Timberlake you just read in US Weekly, or the episode of the Bachelor you watched last night. Try reading the NYTimes (other than Sunday Styles)--you might just learn something.

5. wearing your "good jeans" is not getting dressed up.

6. no one is buying the fake tan.

7. sex and the city is over. cari is too old, miranda was never good looking, and we've all seen samantha's boobs one too many times.

8. try smiling on occasion.

9. the reason you're still single is because you are too picky and have outrageous expectations. all the men who are rich, over 6 foot tall, very good looking, who are either pro athletes or doctors have been taken. i've got bad news for you: women outnumber men in this city. that guy who you blew off last nite because you thought he was a not wearing the right jeans, he is probably wildly successful and will treat you like a princess.

this is just my advice and you can take it or leave it, but those of you out there in murray hill, who know who you are and it might be worth paying attention."


At 2:32 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

band name: two for flinching

At 3:04 PM, Blogger More Cowbell said...

I can't believe that site has been around for a year and I haven't seen it. It expresses everything I've ever felt, but never really knew how to articulate. Unreal.

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I don't think it's been around for a year...I was under the assumption it's been up for like three months. But that CL post was definitely from last year.

Two for Flinching is good, but I think most people will conclude that we're a Five for Fighting cover band.

At 5:03 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

yeah, i was afraid of that comparison, maybe we could change the spelling to something craisins, like, too fore phighting?? no??


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