Friday, November 12, 2004

Yes!

You get off your ass and you Taser that fucking kid. At least the kid wasn't doing cartwheels and/or handstands, which apparently are bad news (Brown).

Captain Starbux was kind enough to pass this along...researchers at the University of Michigan and Princeton University are trying to comfort the downtrodden blue staters, attempting to show that the country isn't as red as the necks of Bush's supporters. Check out some new maps, folks.

One more election note: If Ron Artest ran for the position of the new Mike Tyson, I'd vote for him. This guy is media gold, television tea. After yesterday's stream of consciousness ridiculousness, you just know ESPN is going to follow this guy around 24/7 for the next few months. So buckle up and hunker down Ronnie, expect to see some non-stop ED-TV type shit (did I just reference ED-TV? Fuck.).

And here's one bartender you can tell to do anything you want, and you don't even have to tip her...may or may not be safe for work, depending on how your warped little mind works. Try "Kiss a girl," that's a nice. High fiiive. My work friend who showed this to me recommends "Start a fight," which is pretty funny as well. It's in your hands now, go forth and do things. IBM Presents, You Make the Call.

10 Comments:

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

In an unrelated note...why are they remaking this movie? They got it exactly right the first time. Arrrgh.

http://collegehumor.com/?pg=wonka

 
At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They got a verdict in this big case out there- stay tuned- 4PM EST... anyone want to place bets?

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Does anyone think that they should make these trials even MORE of a reality TV show? I say, moments after the verdict is read, the defendent must turn around and simply tell the truth. We all know about 'double jeopardy'- so if you're found not guilty, you should turn around and say "haha you fuckers- i really sliced that bitch."

Think about the level of drama that would add to the programming... I'm picturing that old timey game show (who's name escapes me) where the three people pretend to be the same person and they get to ask questions...

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

Uno, that's one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard, and I'm going to completely steal it and give you absolutely no credit. That's gold baby - gold!

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Well, they could still nail him in civil court, so the whole double jeopardy thing may not be the only factor. But I totally agree with ya, Uno.

I can't believe they convicted this guy on no evidence...yes, he definitely killed her, but they didn't have shit on him. And OJ, who did everything but admit to making a pez dispenser out of his white borad wife, continues to roam free and snort coke off strippers' tats. What a country!

And I think you're looking for "To Tell the Truth."

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Army Archerd said...

How has no one posted any of their favorite key phrases to use with the virtual bartender? I haven't gotten a minute of work done since this gorgeous woman came into my life. Mulgrew, don't waste your time with "feed me pizza" or "order chinese food"...already tried, doesn't work.

By the way, "lick your tit" is a good one. Mistake...tit.

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

to tell the truth i believe is the name of it

my only problem with your proposed game is that we all know he did it, right? how bout a game called, who's more guilty, we'll get the juice out there, kobe, scottie too hottie, now thats compelling tv

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Yeah- that's the one...

Or we could add some humor to the trial by modeling it after that other old timey game show (whose name escapes me) and have someone turn around and say "Scott Peterson's mouth is opened so wide (how wide is it?), you could easily fit a BLANK in there."

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"toss my salad" is a nice command to the bartender. although i can't make it out what the image is when she snaps her finger. anyone?

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Uno, that's classic! Gene Rayburn would have to host it though...is he dead or still alive? That show was awesome, I love Match Game. I mean, you could get high on coke just by WATCHING Richard Dawson.

Is Charles Nelson Reilley straight? I can't tell.

 

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