Monday, January 17, 2005

All-Time Asswipe

At a time like this, the only thing I can think to do is quote the words of legendary philosophizer Mike Jarvis: "I hope that none of you feel the way I have the last two days, as if someone had come into my house and raped me." Posted by Hello


At 4:28 AM, Blogger ahren said...

hey ace,

sorry buddy. rough playoff exits hurt. i'm still eating crow on my jets assessment though... always next year i suppose... or some shit... i'll trade you brett favre's underhand toss for doug brien...

At 8:13 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Appreciate the kind words, buddy. We definitely turned some heads, but that's just not that good enough right now.

Done deal on the trade. Take Hackett too.

At 10:20 AM, Blogger ScuffyMcgee said...

Ace, Rape can't possibly hurt this much. I blame the kicker, but not nearly as much as the head coach. Not Hackett, who obviously has naked pics of Bradway's Daughter, or Dick Curl, who is as good with a clock as a nun is with a dildo, but Herman Edwards. To lose a game making the exact mistakes that were made the week prior is just pathetic. To revisit this game, Curtis Martin is tackled after a well executed screen pass with 0:59 left, the next snap is with 0:16 left, and I remind you, we were not out of time outs.

Don't you think combining the Heinz Field kicking unfriendliness with a subpar kicker should add up to: "LET'S GET 10 MORE FUCKING YARDS!!!" I don't blame Hackett because I expect this diarrhea from him, but you know what, Herm should be on the headset saying: "Paul, I know what a useless pussy you are, but can you do me a favor and call something that may get us 10 yards so that Doug "Sees a Sports Psychiatrist" Brien could kick from a somewhat high percentage area. Screen pass to LaMont anyone?

I'm not going to touch the Pennington -2 yard kneel down or the 2 yard route on 3rd and 10 in overtime, because anybody who knows jack about this team knows this game was already over. I don't blame Hackett because at this point we weren't going to win this game because of him, but only in spite of him, and our coach did not recognize this. He brags about 3 playoff appearances. How many Super Bowl appearances or even AFC Title Game appearances does he have on his resume? I'm sick of this shit, I want a title as do all Jet Fans, and Herman Edwards is not the guy who is going to get it done.

This sucks.

At 10:58 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I'm with ya, Scuffy (and actually I was with you on Saturday watching this debacle)...

I'm holding off on posting my extended thoughts, and in fact, I think I may skip a "Whaaa haaaapened?" post in lieu of a "Look ahead to next season" post. And I may actually skip over this Jets crap altogether. It just hurts, the way it went down, making the same mistake that we criticized Marty for the week before, only giving LaMont five or six carries, the short passes when we needed longer ones. Just a shame. I still can't believe we're not going to Foxboro on Sunday.

I mean, first Phish breaks up with no warning, then the Yanks suffer the worst choke in sports history, now this heartbreker...STAY AWAY FROM ME IF YOU WANT THINGS TO GO RIGHT!

Rough year for me.

At 2:27 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Ace, my condolences buddy. I could only watch in utter disbelief as Ben Roethlisbegerexpialidocius pulled yet another one out of his ass after throwing two of the possibly worst interceptions in playoff history. The Steelers didn't win that game, the Jets lost it, and that is in no way a dis against the Jets. They should have won it and I should be getting ready to go to next week's game at Gillette. It's a fucking traveshamockery.

I can only pray to Amun-Ra that the Pats continue what they started last night and beat the nuts out of Pittsburgh. As I told you a few days ago, I went to the game last night and it was AMAZING. Peyton could have only made it better for us by coming out and pulling a Pedro and admitting that Belichick was his daddy. But alas, he's a classy guy and saved his crying for the sidelines and kept his composure after the game. I think he and Doug Brien will be "cutting the meat" together next year during the playoffs while the Pats and Jets move on. That's assuming and hoping that the Jets get rid of him, which they should.

But hey, baseball season starts in only less than three months, so you have something to look forward to.

Sorry to chime in so late, I have a nasty hangover.

Happy MLK Jr. day.

At 3:54 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Glad you had some fun at Peyton's expense, Matty...I mean, the only way these guys can ever get to the big game is if they go 15-1 next year and take home field. Other teams can still beat 'em, but there's no way they can win outdoors in the playoffs (playoffs?!), it seems.

The Jets have a bright future, and I'm confident that some minor changes can make the difference between this loss and the Super Bowl...I'm a rare breed, an optimistic Jet fan -- and I'm saying right here, today, we're only getting better and the NFL better watch out for this team next year.

Good luck in Pitt next week, I don't think there's a shot in hell the Stillers pull this one out. As Jeremy Irons says in DH3, "Not a chance." Damn, the Pats are just damn good...Belichick is admittedly the Man.

Pitchers and cacthers in 29 days?! Whooooa.

At 4:13 PM, Blogger TJ in OH said...

I was feelin' for you, Ace, big time (Big time, Bill, big time!). What are the frickin' odds? Missing two kicks in 2.5 minutes?

Drinks are on me during next year's AFC Championship Game - Bengals at Jets. If Marvin Lewis was your coach, you guys win that game.

Off topic - just to bring some sunshine into the dark day - got Festival Express over the weekend, but was too busy writing this stupid RFP to get to watch it. Tonight, though, looks promising.

At 4:48 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Danko + Janis + Bobby + Jerry + tooooons of LSD + "Ain't No More Cane" = best scene in the movie

Enjoy that little nugget, I know you will. Danko is DESTROYED on acid at the time, and Janis even has to ask him if he's okay! Janis as the voice of reason!

"Janis, I've loved you ever from the first day I saw you." --JG, right after the number

At 6:28 PM, Blogger ahren said...

wait, lsd used to be real? who knew?


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