Thursday, January 27, 2005

Shock Full of Nuts

Is anyone else constantly full of static electricity? Every time I go to shake someone's hand I inevitably give them a little shock upon the touching of our hands. Now, this is fine in most cases, because it's usually friends and friends of friends and sometimes enemies that feel my wrath of electrostatic discharges.

But I just had a face-to-face interview with the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company (not bragging or anything, just tellin' a story here), and I shocked the hell out of him. He didn't say anything, but I could feel him judging me. Dick. I'll shock whoever the fuck I want, millionaire or not. Maybe I need to dry clean my winter jacket for the first time in three years.

To learn more about static shocks and how to avoid them, click here.


At 3:14 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Is the author of that site really "Dr. Jeremy Smallwood"? I think I just had a mini-seizure thinking about all the jokes coming out of that one... Oh Ace probably doesn't think those jokes are funny anymore- too infantile for those who mingle with multi-billionaire CEOs. Ooooh Ace- it's a dick joke... get over it.

You think all the years of being made fun of as a kid is what turned this guy towards a career primarily focused on the studies of static electricity?

At 3:55 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Whoa, unwarranted attack on Ace! I love dick jokes! I love dick!

At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The work you guys are doing there at CNN is top notch Ace. I know, as Dubya said "it's hard work"

At 4:21 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

ace u dirty rat, selling out to "the man", shouldnt u be sipping tea and crumpets with your pinky finger extended, bastard

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

That's a great link there, Anon. But please, folks, be careful with the three-letter acronym that Anon. threw out there. I prefer to remain employed.

poophop, sorry buddy, I sold out a long, long time ago. I'm wearing a fucking jacket and tie today for chrissakes. And I'm going to a fucking charity function tonight. Jacket/tie, CEOs and charities!Seriously, aren't we 25? I feel 55 today.

Still, I'm in great spirits, so fuck you.


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