Thursday, January 27, 2005

Wave That Flag

Over the last few days, The Grateful Dead Movie has been playing in select theatres across the country...so last night I journeyed to the 42nd Street Loews to see a sold out(!) showing of this awesome concert/documentary from a string of 1974 shows at the Winterland in San Fran. The place was packed, the energy was high, the crowd was pumped -- it didn't quite feel like going to a show, but it was a great experience hangin' out with old Deadheads and guys like me who wish they'd gotten to see them just once, even on their worst day.

If you've never seen this movie, I couldn't recommend it more. You know that old, fat and gray Jerry that most of us remember? Well this is young, skinny and lively Jerry, just about 31 years old, lookin' like a million bucks, sounding like a billion. It's beautiful to see him like this, a man on the rise, just ten years into his career as the greatest nine-fingered guitarist in the history of mankind. This movie suspends time and space, it takes you back in the Delorean and wakes you up in 1974. Oh, to see a band as they're hitting their prime, there really is nothing like it. And it's all up close and personal...Marky Mark would love this film, because you can actually see sweat comin' out they pores.

The highlight of the movie though is Phil Lesh, the group's legendary bassist. To steal and paraphrase a line from some random guy at the Brooklyn Phish shows, "Dubya loves Phil, because Phil drops bombs." This guy's bass and his bass-playing are just off the charts. We need new charts. I can't even put into words how awesome (and supremely nerdy) he comes off in this documentary, especially on "Eyes of the World," possibly the best song ever written by mere mortals. Honorable mention goes to any scenes with Bill Graham, one of my absolute idols.

The lowlight was the random dude sitting next to me -- not only did he take like 10 hits off his bowl without offering me a single puff, but he wouldn't stop gabbing the entire night. Now, that would be okay if he had some old Deadhead insight to pass on, I like talking to new people and making new friends. But this guy was worse than anyone you've ever jokingly referred to as Cap'n Obvious...everything he said was so ridiculously obvious I wanted to wrap his head in with a ratchet. The band would start singing "Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad" and he'd turn to me and say, "You know what song this is, right?" They'd flash a picture of the house the Dead lived in at 710 Ashbury (that had the numbers 7-1-0 on it in big print) and he'd yell out "That's 710 Ashbury." The same exact thing for the Mars Hotel seconds later.

This guy sang every word to every song -- poorly too -- and he even started a slow clap with no rhythm during Morning Dew that just killed the mood. The last straw was when the Dead brought out Mickey Hart, and Bobby announces to the crowd, "We're gonna bring out our old drummer Mickey Hart to play with us..." and this guy turns to me and says, "Yeah this was the period where Mickey wasn't with the group." Oh, really? First I forgot the history of one of my favorite bands of all time, then I hadn't noticed he wasn't up there for the last two and a half hours. Thanks for clearing that up. Now give me a hit of that bowl, you stinkbox.

Great night, though, and great flick...a wonderful experience. After the movie I came home and watched a little SportsCenter before flipping over to the Serena Williams v. Maria Sharapova Aussie Open semifinal match. It was midnight, and the ladies were already playing at 5-5 in the third set, Serena surviving a few match points, both women looking completely exhausted. I was pretty tired myself, despite not being in the middle of a marathon tennis match in a grand slam semifinal, so I closed my eyes and just listened to the rest of it whilst trying to fall asleep.

Well, male Slackers, if you've never watched a women's tennis match on full volume with your eyes closed, now's the time to start. Considering every female tennis player grunts and moans at the top of their lungs ala Monica Seles these days, the whole thing sounded exactly like an awesome lesbian porno flick: One chick screaming "Ugghhh" and the other responding "Oooohhhhh" over and over again. Women's tennis...I love this game!

And that train of thought leads us into my favorite three Google searches of the week (how people found Slack via various searches):

--looking for hermaphroditic fuck buddy
--hairy grundle pictures
--bea arthur naked pics

There are some fucked up people out there...so I'm putting together a service in which Jamie Lee Curtis will be your fuck buddy while flashing you pictures of Robin Williams' grundle and Bea Arthur's cooch. It's gonna be huge, huuuuge I tells ya.

And Northwestern last night beat #24 Iowa 75-74 on a last second three-pointer that bounced around the rim three times! This day is lookin' up!

10 Comments:

At 11:21 AM, Blogger ethan said...

heh. nekked pics of bea artuhr. next thing you know, someone will be asking for a football helmet filled with cottage cheese and you'll be admitted your name is chester, not chaz.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

that game winner that fell for your wildcats was the greatest rim job i have ever seen (Sheila Broflovski: What the heck is a rim job? Mrs. Cartman: Well that's when you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass.) just an absurd bounce, good w, iowa couldnt have tried to lose that game anymore

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger ahren said...

i wish they'd show that movie anywhere near las vegas. i'm seeing ratdog next weekend, and it would be great to see young, tall, strapping, tight blue jeans shorts bobby right before going to see old, hunched, tight blue jeans shorts bobby.

actually, ratdog was pretty good last time i saw them. except when bobby starts "looks like rain" you can't help but think, "more like, looks like shit."

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

As young as Jerry looked, Bobby was like our age and so babyfaced in this flick. Now he's got that too-cool-for-short-shorts thing and a full beard workin' -- not the Bobby I know and love.

Looks Like Rain happens to be one of my favorite Bobby tunes, just for the "You were goooooooooooooooone" line (and the killer, sweet melodic chirpiness of Jerry's building geetar jam).

Go U, NU -- good line poophop, we support rim jobs here at Slack. Wait, er, I, no. Bottom line: Fear the purple-clad nerds.

Pip, whatcha thinkin about? Swimmin' pools.

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

How do you get those searches that led to your site? I've got site meter, but it looks like I would have to upgrade to get that info, and I am notoriously cheap.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Sent you an email, John. Check it, and good luck.

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger TJ in OH said...

Too bad your GD buddy didn't get some instant karma a la Camden - that earned a permanent spot on my Phish show highlight reel.

Re: Ratdog - the last few times I've seen them they've been great. In fact, the Ratdog shows I've seen have been considerably better than the Dead shows I've been to post-Jerry (with the exception of the '98 Further shows when Phil toured with them for the first time since Garcia died).

I stopped watching that focking NU-Iowa game near the end of regulation because I thought there was no way they could win or force OT. And then as I was watching the IU-Minnesota game, the idiot commentators said it had ended in OT when OT had really just started. I could've watched the bonus frame instead of watching Indiana lose. Rats!

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

TJ, woulda loved to have shared last night's experience with ya, you being my greatest Deadfriend and all. In fact, when they showed Playin' the Band, I couldn't help but think of our memories past when Donna does that part where she shreaks like an insane freak. I still think Bobby had Keith killed because of his imaginary rift with Donna over the Playin' screams, but nobody seems to want a piece of that debate (not even Bill Walton, who told me to calm down when I emailed that theory to him).

Instant karma woulda been lovely for this guy...only he was a nice enough guy, just annoying as shit, whereas that kid in Camden was clearly a douchebag.

Ratdog is comin to NYC in April, but I'm pretty sure their dates conflict with WSP...gonna see how that all shakes out.

Never sleep on the Cats, TJ, never.

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger ahren said...

"I still think Bobby had Keith killed because of his imaginary rift with Donna over the Playin' screams, but nobody seems to want a piece of that debate"

>> i've been putting for that theory for years. we should start a website or get oliver stone to do a movie about it or something.

LLR is a great song, and (speaking of donna) is the only song i really love her presence on. the 3 way that she, bobby, and jerry put together in that outro floors me sometimes.

i like that sax player in ratdog. what is he, like 3.5 feet tall? my favorite is when he starts playing with all his electric thing-a-ma-jazz-its and bobby gets all freaked out and looks like he's about to punt the guy across the room.

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

TJ and I are actually bigger Donna fans than most...I don't think she's ever really "ruined" a song, which is what most of her detractors accuse her of.

Glad to have you aboard the conspiracy train -- your website idea is golden, we just might have to set that up. One of these days we'll have to compare notes on the tension, the confrontation, the expulsion of the Godchauxs and the eventual murder of Keith.

The "He' come the rain" yelps from Bobby are priceless.

 

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