Friday, February 18, 2005

Olive Juice

You folks are good people...but I ain't got no time to entertain you right now. I'm in full Jesse Spano/Never Any Time mode here.

So if anyone's got something funny to say, or poignant, or even downright rude, now's the time to do it, the comments section is the place. Go to town.

And MMW tix for four NYC shows go on sale in 10 minutes. Help save Tonic, which like many other little clubs (CBGB, Fez, Luna Lounge and more) are going out of business.

I wanna vacuum.


At 12:44 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Someone IMMEDIATELY needs to find out how to enact this EVERYWHERE:

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

AGU, I agree.

For serious, yo, let me speak on this...I'm all for people being themselves -- I love fat people, I dig people with lazy eyes, whatever your physical quirk, I'm with ya.

But these women are in this field because they like making money from tips, given to them by people ogling their bodies. They OPT into this field because of their looks, and they take advatage of drunken gamblers by flaunting them. So for them to complain when some looks-based decree gets handed down from management, that's bullshit.

Get busy bein' skinny or get busy tryin'.

At 1:29 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Ace- you're a much better man than I am.

I was actually saying that a woman's weight should be regulated with the same stringency as pollutants in the air and the oil for food program (oh no wait), regardless of profession. Hell, there should be regulation even if you're unemployed (actually, ESPECIALLY if you're unemployed).

You want my working ass to support you- F you, drop 30 pounds. You want to be a woman in a grocery store- F you- drop 10 pounds. You want to drive your kid to nursery school- F you- drop 15 pounds.

With all the crazy agendas that the current White House has come up with, clearly you'd think that we could get something done on the "No Women Get Large" front. Much like the succesful "No Children Left Behind Campaign" (oh no wait), we should start a national debate and get women to START LOSING WEIGHT. We are in crisis mode here people. Vote NWGL in next Tuesday's election.

And angry calls from my Girlfriend to begin in 5...4...3...2...1

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

I have a feeling that there will be a healthy influx of cocaine dealers to Atlantic City in the near future. You know, to help with the weight problems and all. So, not only is this hotel doing a service to its customers, but also giving jobs to the community as well. They should be commended.

"where's the money Lucas?"

"I took it to Atlantic City."

"Lucas, I asked you, where is the money?"

"Um, circulating?"

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

AGU, I love how you capitalized Girlfriend. Good work.

Matty, are you quoting Empire Records?! Even better work.

Mid-90s Zellwegger in an apron and nothing else = hottttt. Sugar high...

At 1:55 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

god damn u blogger, i had a crash test dummies joke that was certified gold jerry, gold i tell ya, but now my burnt fat ass cant remember, so i will join these ladies in losing weight as my punishment...i suck

At 3:19 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Yes, that was most definitely an Empire Records quote. Glad you picked that up as it is a very underrated movie. Zellwegger in her slutty glory was fantastic. Except in the part where she's singing "Sugar High" with that 80's rocker guy and she starts spasming and shaking her hands. On one hand, it's pretty hot because you can only imagine what she must have been like in the sack. But on the other hand it was probably a little hint of just how mentally unstable she was. Also, a budding Liv Tyler was pretty damn good, caffeine-pill addiction included.


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