Thursday, March 10, 2005

Countdown to Langerado

That's right, folks, Ace Cowboy is taking a little vacation for the first time since August. Tomorrow I'm off to my least favorite state in the Union: Florida.

Seriously, can we cede this motherfucker back to eSpain? After the last two elections, terrorist flight school, constant hurricanes, blue-haired drivers and Jews everywhere, I say we give up on this horrible experiment and just quit Florida altogether.

But the great state is putting on a dyn-o-mite-lookin' music festival this weekend -- 25 supersweet bands on three stages over two days, playing to a fairly limited crowd of 10,000, all for the incredibly low price of $75. Sign me up. OK, I signed myself up.

And I can't fucking wait another day. Originally I was planning on coming into work tomorrow morning before my afternoon flight, but now I'm not so sure. After this morning's commute actually, I don't feel like coming into work ever again. The 9 train was so packed this morning that I was literally resting my left arm on this short, dumpy woman's enormous chest. For real, B, my right arm was crammed at my side, and my left arm got caught, eventually resting comfortably on her boobage. She loved it. The tables turned, however, after the train stopped at the 50th Street station...some people got off, we all shuffled around but stayd cramped, and then I'm pretty sure her finger made its way in my ass. Great train ride after that.

Just get me out of here already. I'm pastier than a Siberian albino.

In an unrelated note, take 2 minutes and watch this clip...some fucking moron cop giving a lecture on gun safety. You may be able to guess what ensues: Bring that other gun out! Watch with sound.

2 Comments:

At 3:24 PM, Blogger ethan said...

top 3 things you should do in non-disney florida:

(3) take an airboat ride in gator country. if your driver doesn't have black toenails (no shoes obviously) and wear overalls with no shirt underneath, you got cheated.

(2) give jeb bush a good punch in the cock.

(1) slug down a beer while at the beach, but appreciate that you don't live there.

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

This festival is literally taking up 75-80% of my time there...I'll be at this park from noon to 9 or so on both Saturday and Sunday, then I'm flyin' out early Monday.

Basically, while your suggestions are noted (dually noted), there's just no time for love, Doctah Jones.

Although, I still may seek out ol' Jeb and cockpunch the balls off him.

 

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