Friday, March 25, 2005

First and Last Thoughts

This 10-year-old is just the latest in a string of minors -- nay teens and pre-teens -- to have been arrested for trying to bring Terri Schiavo a glass of water. I've tried, but after this I just can't hold my tongue any's what I'm thinking, in numbered order:

First of all, like Gloria Clemente, maybe Schiavo doesn't want a glass of water, maybe she just wants us all to empathize with her and tell her that we too know what it's like to feel dry-mouthedness, instead of us needing to solve her problem by bringing her a glass of water. We're Beelly Hoyle, and we so stupid.

Secondably, are these Christian D-Bags really so delusional that they're willing to send children into harm's way just to perform the futile act of bringing this shell of a woman a cup of the universal solvent? Go away. Please, you fucking assbags, go the fuck away.

Thirdsky, I love how the judicial decisions in favor of gay marriage were handed down from "activist judges," yet when these hypocrite fuckfaces need the courts to come through for them they're saddened the judges didn't take matters into their own hands.

Fourth-slice, don't Republicans believe strongly in smaller government? How much bigger can government get than when it makes laws for one person?!

Fifth James Olmos, this chick was fucking bulemic. She was so concerned with her looks that she ate meals and then intentionally threw them up in a vain attempt to look better. Do you think she'd want to be paraded around as everybody's favorite vegetable (she replaced brussel sprouts I believe)? No, if she could see herself now, she'd want the feeding tube out of her faster than she can say, "Ahwufhqeuomnuihpwef."

Seis De Mayo, what about the starving children in the streets every day? What about the soldiers dying in Iraq and elsewhere around the world? Where's the outrage? Seriously, I can only imagine how much better this world could be if these Mayors of Psychoville actually put their faith to work in creative and beneficent ways.

And lastable, how can Terri Schiavo really be dying if she's been a guest star on The OC, frequenting NASCAR races and hangin out with Mr. T (thank EB for the brutal link)? Is this all just an illusion?


At 4:42 PM, Blogger The Letter D said...

If she's still around, why do I think Schiavo will be on the presidential ticket in '08? Even if she's still in a vegatative state.

Anyway, I found this blog through Excellent site.

At 4:46 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Ah thanks, Letter D, appreciate the sentiment.

But Mulgrew's not welcome here any more, ever since he blacked my eye and kicked my dog. Actually, he refused BJ Services on me, which is a cardinal sin in Slackland.

At 10:08 AM, Blogger jakezebra said...

Funny, I heard he blacked your dog and kicked your eye. At any rate, check this out --
I'll take a 12 inch on wheat with cucumbers, black olives and a rolled franklin.


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