Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Ides of March

The Ace Cowboy is baaaack...we'll have a full report on Langerado in a few hours, after I can catch up on some work and collect my thoughts. I will say this: Wow. Wow, wow, wow. This weekend blew my mind.

You know it's a good festival when you get your name prominently in the Miami Herald article covering the Fest:

''It's good to get away from the winter and come down to the warm embrace of Florida,'' said Ace Cowboy, 25, from New York. "These are 25 of the best bands going, all for a low, low retail price."

Check it out (if you need a username and pass, feel free to use slacklalane@yahoo.com and herald1).

Until today's post, here's a good joke via the e-mail of Dad Cowboy:

A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this. We just got 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and if you will come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job." The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole."

Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green. The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.

As the golfer pulled out his putter, he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right." The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left."

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the hole, thanks to the robot and his advice. But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game?"

The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week."

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering the pro shop he turned to the man behind the counter and said,
"I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well, the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."

Confused, the golfer cried, "COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible."

The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were shiny silver metal, and the glare from the machine was blinding to other golfers on the fairway."

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did. And then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for unemployment, and the other two robbed the pro shop."


At 10:28 AM, Blogger Wooglin said...

I applaud your casual disregard of political correctness Ace. Take it from a half spic/guinea, a few tasteless jokes is just what the doctor ordered on boring day at school.

At 10:43 AM, Blogger TJ in OH said...

Good morning and welcome to Hell, Mr. Cowboy. We have your suite waiting...

Nice wrap up on Langerado, Ace. I should be back in the office this afternoon for some back-and-forthy.

At 11:18 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Ahh, that joke wasn't that bad at all...okay, maybe it was a tad bit insensitive.

More Langerado to come, TJ...hop on email and let's get it goin'.

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Army Archerd said...

Never met the man, but I like Dad Cowboy already.

Evan S. Benn contributed to this report.

At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Greg said...

I truly almost fell out of my chair reading that...

At 9:12 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Why are all funny jokes racists or sexist in some way? Makes ya feel bad, but makes ya laugh hysterically. That's why we here at Slack tolerate, nay, encourage casual racism.

Dad Cowboy knows what's up.


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