Wednesday, March 09, 2005

No Love?

I know comments are hard to post these days due to Blogger's general suckiness of late, but nothing yesterday? Nothing? Well, then...eat my shorts.

My head hurts a little bit and I'm tired as balls, although drinks with the boss again last night resulted more in conversations about horsecock than in a wicked hangover. Yes, you read that right. Horsecock. And horse semen. The perks of working for a former cowpoke.

Anyway, duty calls this morning (hehe, he said "duty")...so enjoy this ridiculous story about licking wounds and let's do some commenting.

9 Comments:

At 9:42 AM, Anonymous eric said...

I'd still rather a coach lick my knee than a moyle circumcise me with his mouth.

 
At 10:07 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

That's a pretty good point...although, as a 7-day-old baby (or however many days it is), you don't really feel the rabbi chomping down on your peepee. In this case, you're staring at a 34-year-old dude with a goatee lickin' your hairy, bloody knee. I don't know which is worse actually. I heard one of the kids in the room immediately cut his asscrack and approached the coach in private.

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger ethan said...

i'm surprised one of the parents hasn't attacked him with a wooden stake or holy water yet.

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

The Blog Commenting is worse than shitty. I have been trying to
placate you and post some comments, but it ain't working. What I was
going to say, completely unrelated to anything you've written lately,
was that I watched the best Modern Marvels episode to date last night:
Modern Marvels: Vibrators and other sex toys. It was outstanding.
Did you know that vibrators were invented so that doctors no longer
had to manually stimulate their female patients? Apparently, the
common cure for female hysteria was to have the woman orgasm, and this
was the doctor's job. So, when using the hands became too tiresome
and frequent, they needed something to help them. In come the
vibrators. And, this was not looked at as a sexual act, but as a true
medical procedure. Fucking awesome.

Oh, and there were something like 27 different patents issued to
devices which prevented male arousal. Things like contraptions that
you wore which pinched your balls or pulled your pubes if you got an
erection. And, in the 90's, there were a number of patents issued for
devices for women to "insert" which would help them fend off potential
rapists. These devices would somehow mame/maim/really, really hurt
the male genitalia if one was to sexually attack said woman. Some
contained razor blades, others would inject a two inch needle into the
johnson and release a neurotoxin which would knock out the attacker.

Needless to say, I was enthralled. Long live the History Channel.

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

That's just fuckin' great stuff, Matty. And thanks for the heads up on the anti-rape devices, I owe ya one.

Gotta love the History Channel. Can't believe I didn't get the heads up from anyone to TiVo that...you're all bastard people.

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

From a really sexy story about men licking other men's knees and circumcisions, to this horribly depressing story about lots of kids dying...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/03/09/mass.poisoning/index.html

Anyone else feel like everything that goes wrong, goes wrong in this country?

In the only bit of humor to come out of that article...

"The vendor who sold the cassava balls insisted nothing was wrong with them and ate a few to prove the point. Now she, too, is in critical condition."

What an idiot!

(2nd try at posting this)

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger Army Archerd said...

Horsecock? You should put your boss in touch with Spike from Archrivals...they would have tons to talk about.

 
At 1:26 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

i was lucky enough to catch that modern marvels, and it seems AGU's girlfriend did too, cause she was wearing one of those contraptions to fend off rapists a few nights ago

confused call from agu's girlfriend in 5..4..3..2..1...

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Two great comments...great fucking work, gents.

Bobby, I was about 10 seconds away from telling the table of my friend's mother manually masturbating horses.

 

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