Friday, March 04, 2005


After a string of surprisingly hot teachers corrupting our nation's youth, along comes this monstrosity. Yikes. I don't care how horny middle school kids are, there's just no excuse for giving in to the temptation of weenie-touching from Ms. Woods.

Here's an actual scrolling headline from the news crawl on the bottom of CNN, the once-proud news network that no longer remembers what it's like to be good: "HILARY SWANK TOOK A VACATION IN THE MEXICO RESORT TOWN OF PUERTO VALLARTA AFTER WINNING BEST ACTRESS OSCAR AT ACADEMY AWARDS." Now I can die in peace.

Donnie came by last night, and the two of us watched much of the Louisville/Charlotte game. If you like 3-pointers, this was your game (now I tell ya). Bombs a-fucking-way last night, especially from a Charlotte gunner named Brendan Plavich, a 6-2'' senior that looks like a post-accident Mark Hammill with a much longer face. Plavich is a white-boy shooter in every sense of the word, looking totally lost on defense while just camping out behind the three-point line on the offensive end. But man can this guy shoot -- if they're playing in the Tourney, make sure to watch their game just for Plavich.

In a span of about two minutes, he drained a three from about eight feet behind the line, then swished one from about six feet behind the arc the next time down the floor. Then he sank an off-balance practically running three a few possesions later. This guy was making JJ Redick look like he shoots lay-ups. Unfortunately he also gave up just as many points on the defensive end, getting taken off the dribble almost every time, looking like a first-time understudy in a camp play, having no clue where he was supposed to be.

But here's to you Brendan Plavich, thanks for letting us witness one of the more incredible sequences of three-pointers in the history of the game. And I mean that, this was an awesome clinic to watch. And here's to you Charlotte coach Bobby Lutz -- you can't really tell, but this guy has a moustache. It's light, but it's a moustache.

Non-fluid exchange of the night, during one of the many Sonic commercials airing on ESPN:

Donnie: Does anyone actually eat Sonic?
Ace: I don't even know where they are.
Donnie: I don't even know what it is.

Nice, seems like that advertising is really paying off. Well, it's Friday, folks, let's play a little today. We shall.


At 10:22 AM, Blogger ethan said...

i didn't catch much of that game, but i think illinois' dee brown has your boy beat. he went 8-10 from 3pt land last nite against the purdue comb-overs.

we're gonna have a great march madness on our hands...

At 10:55 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Well, I'm not praising his accuracy or anything, as Plavich actually went 7-16 from behind the arc. But his range was unparalleled, this guy was draining shots from well beyond the NBA 3-point line.

Dee Brown was on fire, I watched a good portion of that game too. Keady is just such a weird looking guy, and that hair is sad. It's sad hair.

Yes, I cannot wait for March Madness...I've had a strong resurgence in my excitement for college hoops.

At 1:58 PM, Blogger ahren said...

sonic is awesome. they don't really have them in the northeast or midwest though. it's mostly a southern and west coast thing.

the best thing about it is that they have fresh squeezed limeade that so fucking good. you can get cherry-limade or raspberry or whatever too.

also, they have a fritos chile "pie," which consists of fritos covered with chili and cheese.

plus they have 15 year old high school girs on rollerskates that serve you. in las vegas they will also give you blowjobs, because that's what growing up in las vegas does to a girl.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Hmm, Sonic, never knew.

If that last part is true, I'm buying a ticket and crashing at your place this weekend. And then we're hitting the drive-thru.


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