Friday, April 01, 2005

Beisbol: It's On

Today's the 20th anniversary of one of the greatest April Fool's jokes of all time: George Plimpton reporting the story for Sports Illustrated of a young fire-throwing pitcher for the New York Mets, 28-year-old Sidd Finch. We were young, but the way I've heard it, people believed Finch was real, that his 168 MPH heater was real. I believe he was real...and that Mel Stottlemyre fucked him up too.

We'll have some more thoughts on the season when Monday rolls around -- I don't like to make predictions until Opening Day -- but here's a quick look at Sunday night's opener between the Yanks and Sawx. The Yanks trot out the Large Unit, who brilliantly mixes his fastballs and sliders in a dominating performance over the fluke world champs. Matsui goes 4-for-5 with two doubles and a homer, A-Rod goes deep, Jeter looks sexy and Mo sits in the bullpen all night, unnecessary in a rout. Final score: 9-3 Yankees.

We'll talk again Monday, because if I think any more about the start of the season being so close, my dong might vomit and stain my pants. It's on.

And in a basketball-related note...I'm not sure if this is an April Fool's joke or not, but Northwestern junior point guard TJ Parker, younger and horrendous shooting brother of Spurs guard Tony, has decided to leave school and go pro. Professional hoops! Parker this season averaged 9.7 points, 2.1 rebounds, 2.3 assists, 1.8 turnovers, shot 46 percent from the field and 58 percent from the line in 33 minutes a game. Yeah, I'd put him down for a "Hello, Europe." Or should I say, bonjour. I haven't seen anything this premature since, well...

9 Comments:

At 4:33 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

Your prediction seems a tad biased, I'm sensing this is a trend with you.

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger jp said...

The Yankees suck ass.

Biggest.Choke.Ever.

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yeah, JR, we're back to this again. But hey, my Jets surprised a lot of people and I looked pretty smart! And it is my blog, right?

JP, you're 100% right. The Yankees do suck ass. I forgot that. 26 world championships, 38 AL pennants, WS wins in four of five years, 100+ wins last year...Just terrible. They "suck ass."

 
At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Back Page Phil said...

That TJ Parker story is ridiculous. Parker can't shoot, pass or dribble and was BY FAR the worst starting point guard in the Big Ten every year of his career. He was dominated at SPAC by kids who weren't any good. The only winner in all of this is NU, because Parker fucking sucks.

I'd much rather have had TJ Sorrentine than Parker

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Well said.

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger Wudak! said...

I'm happy that Sports Illustrated can claim an April Fools Joke. CNN.com provides daily april fools jokes (aka their coverage of important news). hmmmm.

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill O'Reilly, Regis, & the Don in the same box, sitting next to each other. I'm going to vomit. Truly the evil empire.

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

How are those predictions now? Look dead on balls accurate to me!

The Empire Strikes Back.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger John Howard said...

I don't know about that, you said 9 - 3

 

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