Friday, April 29, 2005

I Heart Press Conferences

Contrary to what many of you expect, I'm not gonna bash the president following last night's press conference. In fact, I'm gonna do the opposite: Mr. President, you were great. So please, pleeeease Eddie, do some more primetime press conferences. For me. For all of us. I'm not sure I've ever laughed so hard at such a serious presser.

I thought this guy used to be a Texas oil-man or something...but he gave the most atrocious answers to questions about energy strategy I've ever heard. He stumbled and bumbled through that part as if English was really his second language. The president couldn't answer even the simplest queries about his energy plan, so he did the only thing he knows how: bring up the military.

"But, listen, the energy bill is certainly no quick fix. You can't wave a magic wand. I wish I could. It's like that soldier at Fort Hood that said, 'How come you're not lowering the price of gasoline?' I was having lunch with the fellow, and he said, 'Go lower the price of gasoline, Mr. President.' I said, 'I wish I could. It just doesn't work that way.'"

What's Fort Hood have to do with the price of gasoline and/or apples? I mean, you gave an answer to some question, Mr. President, but I don't think it was the answer to that reporter's question. You can't just mention the military and expect to get out of having to give an answer. Well, I guess you can, and you just did.

On a night when the president said "hard work" three times and "work hard" twice, here were my two favorite quotations of the night:

"We should have a active nucular energy policy in America." -- the only thing that could have made that sentence better would be to substitute "strategery" for "policy."

And "Gas can only be transported by ship, though, when you liquefy it, when you put it in solid form." -- how exactly would that work? How could you possibly liquefy something and put it in solid form? Maybe he knows better than I do, being a real-deal oil-man and all.

Regardless, I couldn't have enjoyed that press conference any more, and was genuinely sad to see the networks cut him off at 9 for their May Sweeps programming. We want more.

Staying true to yesterday's proclamation, here's the Slack Song of the Day: The Benevento/Russo Duo with Mike Gordon playing Yes' Roundabout at moe.down on 9/4/04. And just because I'm feeling saucy, here's the Trio with Becky on 12/28/04.


At 11:15 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

I like how the Prez proposes funding for good old boy technologies like “clean coal” while proposing just “tax breaks” for wind and solar technologies. The later being too namby-pamby for the Texan to embrace completely, I guess. We’ll see how namby-pamby alternatives seem when we really start taking it up the ass as Middle Eastern nations shift all of their oil sales to China.

Also I just experienced an extremely embarrassing office moment thanks to this blog. I clicked on the Becky link to hear the music that The Trio did with this Becky person. It didn’t start and I completely forgot about it. Three minutes later what sounds like Beck to me starts blaring in my office. I sit thinking to myself… even my African American office mate who listens to WKTU likes Beck? I really must be the only person on the planet who doesn’t get it. The music continues for about 2.5 minutes, entirely too loud and way inappropriate for work. Finally, I turn to my office mate and say, “that’s me isn’t it?” Having witnessed several of my spaced out episodes already, he giggles and says, “umm yes.”

Horrifying. I guess you had to be here.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Ha, that's hysterical, Gypsy...see, I miss those moments. I wanna be that office-mate again!

By the way, the song is called Becky, it's not a person. You like that song at all?

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

I liked it okay. I think it may have a Pavlovian connection to feelings of embarrassment from now on, though. Plus it sounds like EXACTLY like that Beck song. I'm really confused.

At 12:28 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Maybe that's where the title of the song comes from...

At 12:59 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

It is. I found this review of the song... ""Becky" is Odelay!-era Beck without vocals and the new "New Pollution" vibe is hinted at throughout the album, the obvious influence of producer and laboratory supervisor Joey Waronker (Beck's former, and R.E.M.'s other drummer)." I feel better now.


Post a Comment

<< Home