Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Ice Cream and Old Negros

Happy 30th Birthday, Red Cowboy. My gift to you, brother, is a delicious Ben & Jerry's ice cream cone. You know what, I'm feeling saucy, let that be my gift to all of you. Free ice cream cones for everyone, on me, at participating stores of course.

Here's another gift to all of you, for being such good people: a film not by Ken Burns called "The Old Negro Space Program." It's a handful of minutes, but it's worth watching if you got spare time and you don't feel like shitting in a box. Plus I'm Foreman-guaranteeing that you'll get to hear great lines in context like "If you we're black, and you were and astronaut...you were outta work."

In light of the Norwegian Dawn cruise ship that got douched with 70-foot high waves just days after the anniversary of the Titanic going down, check out some of these awesome huge wave pics. After a faulty cruise senior year in college and countless horror stories, I have since adopted a similar transportation policy to BA Baracus': I an't gettin' on no boat, Hannibal.

And lastly, how great is beisbol season? Despite not having Extra Innings or DirecTV, I watched four televised beisbol games in the NY/NJ/CT tri-state area last night. And three of those games featured starters on my fantasy team, two of which pitched absolute gems (Hudson and Wolf, well, until Wolf imploded in the ninth). The third, Jaret Wright, should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

What a night, too -- there was a scoreless pitchers' duel between Hudson and Clemens down in Planet Hooston, the Yanks opened up an industrial-strength can of whoopass on the Rays, A-Rod finally woke up with a serious night, Randy Wolf shut down the Mets while NY releiver Felix Chlamydia pulled a Rick Ankiel with three pitches to the backstop, and the Reds tied up the homerin' Cubs and eventually took the lead 7-5 in the 8th on a Jason Larue doubled following an incredibly weird 5-2 double play > E-2 in which the runners advanced (too tough to explain here).

Good to have you back, baseball. O ye beautiful sport.


At 10:09 AM, Blogger Wooglin said...

I thought BA Baracus had a fear of helicopters/planes not boats.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yes, Wooglin, you got me. BA did indeed have a fear of planes and 'copters.

But I said I have adopted a similar policy, not the exact policy. And I wear gold chains everywhere.

At 11:43 AM, Blogger John Howard said...

What about Clubber Lang?

At 11:59 AM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

It is great to have baseball season back, especially for a hockey fan who doesn't like basketball. Sports are an addiction and baseball is feeding that right now. Keep it coming.

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Say what you will about me, but I am a great enabler.

At 6:45 PM, Blogger ethan said...

acey-ducey - did you get that free extra innings preview and watch 6 games a day last week?

that shit made being jobless better than ever.

and really, can someone in pinstripes get there ERA under 8.50 please???

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Nah, I didn't get Extra Innings...I should have, but I didn't.

I once got laid off on Opening Day (2002) and there were like 6 games on ESPN and the Deuce throughout the day. I considered that to be the best day of my life.


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