Monday, April 04, 2005

Is It October?

It was cold and rainy at the Stadium last night. Randy Johnson toed the rubber for the Yanks, Fat Boomer for the Sawx. There was an October atmosphere in the Boogie Down, a night when the Empire clearly struck back.

From The Large Unit to Jeter to Ti-no to Giambi to Sturtze to the 2005 AL MVP Hideki Matsui, man, did we look good last night or what? Let's keep that up, men. Except for an A-Rod blast, my prediction was about as dead-on balls accurate as you can get...and that's fantastic. Thanks for making me look wicked smaht, Matsui.

Well, last night was the appetizer, but today is baseball's official Opening Day. And if you can explain to me why only 20 major league ballclubs are playing today instead of, say, all of them, I'll give you 100 dollars. Seriously, that makes no sense. None. It's Opening Day, open the goddamn season for all.

So with that in mind, here are a few predictions for this year's final standings and hardware (feel free to leave your own in the comments):

AL East: Yank'ums
AL Central: White Sox
AL West: Angels
Wild Card: Twins

(Yes, the fluke defending champs are missing...that's not a joke or a bias, it's just a fact of the future).

NL East: Marlins
NL Central: Cubbies
NL West: Padres
Wild Card: Braves

ALCS: Yanks over Angels
NLCS: Padres over Cubbies

World Series: Yanks over Padres

AL MVP 1-2: Hideki Matsui, Vlad Guerrero
NL MVP 1-2: Carlos Delgado, Brian Giles

AL Cy Young 1-2: Randy Johnson, Bartolo Colon
NL Cy Young 1-2: Tim Hudson, Jake Peavy

For my earlier Yank'ums predictions, including extremely bullish assessments of Sturtze and Matt Suhey, here's the reprise.

Opening Day should be a national holiday...I remember being laid off on the morning of Opening Day 2002 and thinking, "Man, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." I hope as many people as possible take off today. We all deserve it.

Some other news from the weekend:

1. I saw Sin City late night on Friday. Pretty cool movie...I would definitely recommend seeing it. The projector stopped mid-punch about 45 minutes into the flick, which caused a slight panic and thousands of dipshits to yell "Hit play." Finally some theater worker in street clothes came in and assured us they were working to fix it, and that they'd start it where we left off. Half-hour later they were close enough. Good cinema, good street clothes. See it.

2. Hoobs, Sleepy Jake and I caught a band called U-Melt after the Final Four games on Saturday night. I couldn't recommend these guys any more to you fine folks...they don't really sound like anyone else on the typical jamband scene, though they do take good parts from other bands and genres (a little from the jam-style, a little from the electronika, a little from the rock). They played until 4 am, but that was really 3 am due to some time warp of sorts that happens twice a year. And this was definitely one of those bands I woulda danced until 6 am listening to had they continued.

When these guys come back to NYC, I'll be there. The real question is, who's coming with me, besides Flipper here? The opening band (Bump) was great too, I'd give them a strong recommendation as well.

3. From Slack loyalist Fluffdead: "Funny thing happened last night at the Nassau Mausoleum for The Eagles concert. In my vast concert experience I personally have never seen the likes of this. Before the boys came out for the first of seventeen encores, the coliseum began to glow. I thought, did they hand out lights or something before the show and we just never got it? Or was it the traditional lighters held in the air to get their beloved band back out on stage?

Well, not this crowd, technology has certainly taken over with the 55 and older crowd. Turns out, there were no freebies handed out, these geriatrics held up their open cell phones, revealing a glimmering of green, blue and white lights shining from their phones. Thousands and thousands of lights shimmering in the air. The brother Marc and I were laughing at how ironic this was: The 60’s PEACE generation started the lighters in the air and now they are using modern technology. What is next? iPods in the Air (now that would be cool)?"

4. Odds for the new Pope. Who ya got?


At 10:51 AM, Blogger Wooglin said...

Who's the moron who put $1300 on Cardinal Tettamanzi of Italy?

That seems like a long shot considering every pope came from Italy for 450 years before John Paul II's election in 1978. The Italians had their run.

I'm pulling for the dark horse Cardinal Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino, 68, of Cuba.

Becoming Pope and moving to Vatican City gives you a nice chance to denounce Castro and Communism without being jailed in the middle of the night.

At 11:06 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I'm 100% in the corner of the Black Pope candidate. It would freak too many people out not to do it.

At 11:31 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

I'm not even going to weigh in on the Sox being left off that list. It's a travesty, a sham and a mockery. But yes, the Sox did suck last night. I wanted to slit my wrists.

I'm down for the next U-Melt show.

As for the Pope, I have no predictions. However, I did see a great sign yesterday. I went to the Celtics/Sixers game which ended up being an basketball abortion, and everyone for a few weeks now has been pulling for Ricky Davis being voted as 6th man of the year. I think he deservces it. With that, people of all ages have been coming up with some great signs, and the camera guys love to show these signs on the Jumbotron. Well, yesterday, two very clever 12 year olds held up a sign that said "Screw 6th man of the year, vote Ricky for Pope". It was fantastic and the sign stayed on the Jumbotron for about 2.8 seconds before they quickly changed over to some 8 year old girl with green hair. The whole crowd went nuts, even in uber-Catholic Boston. Hysterical.

At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I am in to go see any band you recommend Ace Cowboy. Just give me notice especially with the new Fells on the way come June. Then I can tell you if I am allowed out! How about
Brian Cardinal(Memphis Grizzlies) to be the next pope? The name works right? Not to mention he is on my poor fantasy bball team. Have you ever seen the cell phone rainbow of lights???


At 11:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in to go see any band you recommend Ace Cowboy. Just give me notice especially with the new Fells on the way come June. Then I can tell you if I am allowed out! How about Brian Cardinal(Memphis Grizzlies) to be the next pope? The name works right? Not to mention he is on my poor fantasy bball team. Have you ever seen the cell phone rainbow of lights???


At 11:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Greg said...

I thought it was bad enough when I saw you had the White Sox winning the Central, but then I realized you'd put them ahead of the Red Sox too...I'm dying to hear the reasoning behind either of these things (although I guess there's some overlap in the reasons for each...)

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

So the list of Papal candidates now includes Ricky Davis and Brian Cardinal...excellent. Fluffhead for Pope.

I just don't see the Sawx making the playoffs this year...that's all. I think their desire to win will be less than ever, and they'll have some key injuries, the starting staff just ain't what it used to be, and Francona will figure out a way to fuck it up (seeing as the team won in spite of his managerial decisions last year).

As for the ChiSox, I just have a feeling about Ozzie's squad this year. Maybe it's because everyone LOVES the Twins, but I think you take a mediocre team, subtract their two best players (Mags and El Caballo) and you have a division champion. But seriously, I like their staff -- Freddy Got Garcia-ed, Buerhle, the dueling Cubans of El Duque and Contreres, Garland, relievers like Marte and Politte will put it together this year...I just have a feeling.

Great Orestes Destrade reference, Q.

At 12:54 PM, Blogger Dorsey said...

A few comments:
I hate to be a hater, but... I'm almost willing to bet my left nut there doesn't exist a clever person in the entire state of Massachusetts, much less one that's 12 years old. If by some chance I just failed to come across one in the 4 years I spent in the state, I'll need something more than a stupid sign at a Celtics game as proof one actually exists. You should know I began slow-clapping that story midway through reading it.

Matt Mantei didn't seem as comfortable in his Yanks/Sox indoctrination as his bout with verbal diarrhea earlier this spring would have otherwise suggested

Good for whoever at the Stadium was holding up the sign that read "Boo the Boomer if you have a Big Johnson". Not terribly creative or worth much more than an immature giggle at first glance. But listening to my 60 year old father giggle immaturely over the phone while reading the sign to me from the game was pretty fucking funny.

Bill S. Preston Quote of the day:
"It's an unfortunate thing," Johnny Damon said, "but the Pope was very awesome for the world."

At 2:43 PM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

I've heard a lot about U-Melt these days. There was a review about one of their Lions Den shows on recently. I would definately like to check these guys out in the NY area.

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yeah, I'll be there when they come back to town...a very enjoyable show by all accounts. And the opener (Bump) was damn good too, although we only caught about 20 minutes of their show.

At 7:02 PM, Blogger jp said...

It's kind of hard to call anything NY does this year a "success." I mean, they're frickin payroll is $225 million. They're SUPPOSED to win. If they lose, they failed. Not only is Georgie Pie ruining the game by overpaying everyone on his roster, but there's absolutely no upside for the Yank'offs this year.


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