Friday, April 22, 2005

Where Have You Gone, Jonny Liebs?

I was as dead-set against letting Jon Lieber escape from New York as any Yankee fan out there. Seriously, what a terrible decision by The Boss, Cashman & Co. Terrible.

Despite the fact that he looks like he may have Down Syndrome, Jonny Liebs turned into the best pitcher on our roster at the end of last season. He's my favorite type of pitcher, and he's the type of pitcher that most major league fielders adore and play hard for: He gets the ball, he throws it right away and he throws it for strikes. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Instead the Yank'ums signed Jaret Wright for the exact same three-year, $21-million contract that Jonny Liebs signed in Philadelphia. Fast forward a few months and the Phillies look like the wicked smaht guys while Jaret Wright looks more and more like a big pile of dog doo. I still have faith that Wright will get it together, but I'm growing more and more frustrated with our decision to let Jonny Liebs get away.

So far this year, the stats are as follow:
J-Lieber: 4-0, 29.2 IP, 2.73 ERA, 1.079 WHIP, 9 K
J-Wrong: 2-1, 14.1 IP, 10.05 ERA, 2.302 WHIP, 10 K

Not lookin' good for the Yanks, eh? I thought it was a brilliant move for the Yanks to sign him to a two-year contract while waiting for him to recover from reconstructive arm surgery. From brilliance comes awfulness though...we got one good year out of him and then "fucked it up" ala Walter spreading Donnie's ashes. Now we're stuck with Mr. Wrong, and we're all just praying he finds last year's Wright form.

More importantly, I miss watching Lieber work. I've always enjoyed watching Corky Liebs pitch, dating back to when we went to school in Chicago and he pitched for the Cubbies. Like I said, he gets it, he throws it, he throws it over the plate -- you really can't ask for more from a pitcher.

I remember watching him with Mitchell VergerDartz III at the end of our senior year (May 24, 2001 to be exact), when Lieber one-hit the Red-legs in a complete game effort, driving the Cubs to a 3-0 victory. The guy threw just 79 pitches -- 55 for strikes -- that day! I'm pretty sure the game took less time to play than the two hours of rain delays.

Interestingly enough, the next day Kerry Wood one-hit the Brewers in a 1-0 complete game win, taking a no-hit bid into the 7th and striking out 14 men. That was easily the coolest two-day stretch of regular season baseball not involving the Yankees I've ever seen. Great stuff, just great stuff.

Long story short: Get the shit in gear, Jaret Wright, I'd hate to see Jonny Liebs wipe your ass all over the floor for the exact same contract. Did I just say "wipe your ass?"

An unrelated story: I got in the elevator with a woman in her 40s or 50s, a weird lookin' lady that kept glancing over at me. We were both watching the little TV in the elevator that was showing a commercial about diarrhea medicine. She looks at me and says, "These commercials are getting more and more ridiculous. I just saw one with someone shaving their pubic hair."

Okay, what fucking commercial is this bitch talking about?! And secondly, that is not even remotely appropriate elevator conversation with a stranger. C'mon lady.


At 1:13 PM, Blogger ethan said...

jaret wright. i need a few seconds to compose myself on this one.



fuck, i can't do it. let's just say i agree. wright without Crazy Shakin Mazzone (good band name, eh?) is on par with joe mays at best.

as to the weird lady, you should have looked her straight in the eye and said, "oh i use the #3 clippers down there. how bout you?"

[cough] i posted [cough]

At 1:21 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I like Crazy Shakin' Mazzone...I think you can even drop the Crazy and you'd still have a good one.

"Tonight, at the Fox Theatre, Shakin' Mazzone." I like it.

As for the lady, I nearly responded with, "Shave your pubic hair and pop a Cialis and you'll feel like a tripod," but I thought better of it. Weird times.

At 2:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thomas said he wanted to talk to "the best and the brightest minds in the business," and added, "We consider Herb Williams one of those bright minds."

And you wonder why the Knicks suck.

At 3:12 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Interesting, Anon...was that in reference to anything specific?

I agree, the Knicks suck. Nobody will debate that. Next case.


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