Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Who's Got My Aunt Hazel?

I don't know why, but this is one of the funniest things I've seen lately. From the White House's Office of National Drug Control Policy, I give you, "Street Terms: Drugs and the Drug Trade."

I mean, how many fuckin' terms are there for heroin? And are people really walkin' around begging people for some Bart Simpson, or some he-she or a little hero of the underworld? Say brotha, could you hook me up with a nice amount of Old Steve?

My favorite: Serial speedballing is defined as "Sequencing cocaine, cough syrup, and heroin over a 1-2 day period." Sounds about right.


At 11:20 AM, Blogger hoobs said...

there really are alot of heroin names. why so many about september 11? i guess that means the terrorists have won. they didn't have my favorite, which is "sherman helmsley" for pcp.

At 11:45 AM, Blogger Jacob Eli said...

my favorite is definitely Crisscrossing: The practice of setting up a line of cocaine next to a line of heroin. The user places a straw in each nostril and snorts about half of each line. Then the straws are crossed and the remaining lines are snorted.

Heroin rules.

At 12:12 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Sherman Helmsley is a good one...i wonder what the origin is on that one. I mean, when you take PCP are you "movin' on up?" Or do you take it and shout "Amen!"

And since Carlos Santana is the Hispanic Sherman Helmsley, do Latinos refer to PCP as Santana?

Anyone for a crisscross later tonight?

At 12:52 PM, Blogger True Blue Liberal said...

I want to see a room full of agents cramming for this test, and then using their hard-earned knowledge on "da street" ; it always reminds me of the photo op of Rudy Giuliani and Alphonse D'Amato when they went "undercover" to "score" some "weed" or the guys I used to see at demonstrations in the early seventies with cop mustaches and wigs.

At 2:40 PM, Blogger Wooglin said...

Dude, those names are total bullshit. How do I know? Cause I do drugs and I sure as shit have never uttered 95% of those names. (Well I don't do herion so that's about 85% of the names right there.)

But either way here are some phrases and terms that any healthy substance abusing person would actually recognize (yet they are absent on from that list):

Who's got my "nuggets?" (Dried Marijuana Buds)

"Doses"...."Doses." (LSD)

"Has anybody seen my friend "Molly?" (MDMA)

Dude I can't believe we ate all that "X." (Excstacy)

At 2:56 PM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

Haha, Wooglin, I feel like I'm in a Phish show parking lot reading those terms.

At 3:03 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Any list without "1 for $3, 2 for $5" is bogus.

At 5:02 AM, Anonymous SpanishMiguel said...

i like that "crap" was specified as "low-quality HEROIN." Kind of a narrow-minded definition if you ask me.


Post a Comment

<< Home