Monday, May 16, 2005

I Vote Yea

Continuing Resolution on This Weekend Being Awesome (Passed by My Brain, Stomach and Liver this morning)

Whereas the Redheaded Fuckface and 70 Volt Parade invaded New York City's Hammerstein Ballroom on Friday night to deliver a first-class asswhoopin' on the Trey Haters, playing a fuck-your-face first set of hits and covers that included Night Speaks to a Woman, Burlap Sack and Pumps, 46 Days, Push On 'Til the Day, Dig a Pony, Dark and Down, Will It Go Round in Circles, In the Light, Drifting and Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer, then recovering from a "meandering" second set (Handstand, 2005) in a big way by playing nearly the last six songs off Abbey Road from Mean Mr. Mustard through The End and nailing it, I mean nailing it!, sending the crowd and my group of Lukas, the Brothers Handstand and a Zebra, as well as Jacob Eli and his Harem of Rolling Women, home in a total frenzy;

Whereas the Ace Cowboy skipped the next night's show and a likely appearance by Mike Gordon in order to drive up to the Northeast Pennsylvanian countryside for Boys' Weekend, our annual jaunt up to the 225-acre summer camp half of us attended as kids and staff, a beautiful campus at which 20 mostly married dudes in their late 20s and early 30s play hoops and softball, engage in total relaxation, start pyromaniacal bonfires, plow through a riiiiidiculous never-ending barbeque of steaks and ribs and burgers and dogs and chicken and fresh corn and more, throw out movie lines in place of original thought, produce inane conversation that goes on for hours (2004's highlight was an epic three- or four-hour dialogue started by the supremely innocent comment "Would you blow your father for $1 million?"), drive drunk around on golf carts and ATVs that kick up to 30 MPH and wreck our bodies with serious drinking and lovely doje;

Whereas words cannot accurately describe and decency does not allow me to recount this year's Boys' Weekend, where the assembled crowd kicked three kegs, three bottles of Patron tequila and plenty of rich greenery; where the Ace Cowboy abandoned a softball game against the local towns' softball team to get high with some fellas on a ripple-less lake; where one of those locals nearly kicked off a brawl at 2 am over a terrible misunderstanding; where the only thing to re-ignite the party after that awkwardness was the drunkest guy doing some sort of impromptu naked cartwheels/handstands before piling on a kegstand, a self-imposed second kegstand and a five-shot pull off a fresh bottle of tequila, much to my amusement and my pain (I was HURTING from laughing so hard);

Whereas I came home at 5 pm yesterday after an easy drive home to plop right down on the couch and watch Connie Gore/Tino Martinez and the New York Yank'ums win their eighth straight game to pull even to .500, validating my repeated warning to each and every Yankee fan not to panic until June 1st;

Whereas all of the above made it so I can't move or think this morning -- I feel like fuckin' Schiavo right now -- I declare this the bestest weekend of 2005. The bestest!

How's everyone else's? Anyone else pass out at 9:30 last night and still feel like they need another 16 hours of sleepy?

Slack Song of the Day: A really cool version Rusted Root's Send Me On My Way from the KBCO Studio in Boulder on May 17th, 2002. Holy shiite, remember these guys?!

5 Comments:

At 2:42 PM, Anonymous HANDSTAND said...

Handstand is Ever Floating from this weekend of Trey....

Thank you Crimson Dego!

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Crimson Dego came to play...

Part of me would love to have been at that show Saturday, but as written above, I'll takes what I gots.

Zooma Tour, here we come.

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger Snacks said...

As an active participant in the 2nd and 3rd whereas clauses and the driver of the "easy drive home," I'd to attest to the incredibleness of Boys' Weekend. Everyone should have a Boy's Weekend in their life. Actually, I'm going to reserve the website www.boysweekend.com, quit my job and start a new business. I think I'm kinda serious, too.

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Do it. I'd help out.

Boys Weekend may sound like a gay retreat, but it's really just a weekend of complete ridiculous.

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

GINO FOR PRESIDENT! The bestest Weekend since Boys weekend 04.

FLUFF

 

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