Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Paging Dr. Darwin

Why do I get the feeling that this story is a fairly common occurence for the Texarkana Gazette?

"A 38-year-old Winthrop, Ark. man was hospitalized after jumping out the passenger window of a vehicle traveling an estimated 55 to 60 mph to retrieve his cigarette late Saturday, an official said.

Jeff Foran was riding in his friend's 2000 Dodge Stratus about 10 p.m. Saturday near the Arkansas-Oklahoma border when the cigarette he was smoking blew out the vehicle's front passenger window, said Arkansas State Police Trooper First Class Jamie Gravier. Foran jumped out of the vehicle to retrieve the cigarette and hit the pavement, causing facial trauma." [More]

Wait. Wait. (Pull what out?) Let me get this straight: This guy dropped his cigarette out the window of a moving vehicle and decided to jump out the window of said moving truck to retrieve it? Oh man. That's too much. Priceless.

Seriously, what must go through someone's head for them to decide this is a good idea? Hey, I dropped my dangin' cigarette...Should I light myself another, ask the driver to stop and reverse or just do a Dukes of Hazzard-style tuck and roll out the window?

How the fuck does this guy choose Option C? That makes no sense at all to me, but then again, I'm a giant pussy. Maybe if I were a bit manlier I'd have the balls to land face first on the pavement after jumping out a speeding vehicle. Maybe.

Goddamn, I love idiotic decisions.

Thanks to JRH's Upon Further Review for the heads up.


At 1:54 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

And believe me, I've made some bad decisions. Remember that time I chose the Mystery Box over the boat?

At 2:15 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

Well, in his defense, he was drunk at the time.

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Next time I'm drunk I'm gonna drop a lit cigarette out the window and see if my first impulse is to jump out and get it. I'm betting I stay where I am.

At 3:38 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Stupid people with poor impulse control are WAY funny. I should know.


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