Thursday, May 12, 2005

Panel Discussions Can Be Fun

Every once in a while I take advantage of all New York City has to offer. Most other times I only take advantage of my couch and drunk middle school chicks.

Last night I got roped into a fairly cool little event. LP, LG, their little sisters and I went to this place Show for a funny panel discussion on family life featuring the incomparable David Cross, the hilarious Andy Borowitz and writers Jonathan Ames and Meg Wolitzer. Somehow it felt like I was intruding on Little Sister Night, but I wasn't going to miss an opportunity to stand 20 feet away from David Cross.

First, though, we went out to Haru for some pre-panel dinner. Picture four girls and me sitting in a four-person booth, and when the waiter came over, picture the ladies ordering a bunch of shit and me saying, "I'll just have a salad." A side salad? "Yeah, just a side salad."

Like I've said before, I'm the world's fattest anorexic (although, in fairness to me, I NEVER eat salad except for ones with that awesome Nipponese ginger dressing). The sad part is the salad was absolutely delicious and I wanted to order a second one, but I didn't wanna look like a heifer, ya know?

We strolled in to Show a little before 8 pm and the panel started shortly thereafter. We couldn't find any seats so we stood by the bar. I nursed a Stella all night. The guests came out and the hilarity began right away. Jonathan Ames kicked off the night by telling a story about his delayed puberty and how the first time he "made liquid," as his mother explained would happen, he ran into her bedroom stark naked to show her the results. If that weren't craisins enough, he tells how he laid down in her bed to show her he could do it again.

Awkward laughter permeated the room, but in truth, it was a damn funny story. David Cross took the mike from Ames and without skipping a beat said, "I can't wait to get home later and jerk off to that story." And that's the way the night went...three funny dudes and a neglibigle chick telling embarassing and hilarious stories about their families, mostly as they related to sex and humiliation.

One of the cooler parts was listening to David Cross disclose that he came from a white trash family with a legitimately crazy mother and sister that only celebrates Thanksgiving together. But their Thanksgiving involves partying all night long at a gay club in Atlanta while rolling their fucking faces off. Now, that's a holiday.

We stayed for about an hour and 15 minutes, I laughed my ass off to Borowitz's stories about growing up in Shakur Heights and Cross and Ames as well, then we called it a night. But I'm definitly glad I went. Good times, great oldies.

In other news, the good folks at Major League Baseball gave the greenlight for a 16-team World Cup-style tournament. This might be the greatest thing of all time. Seriously. Here are some potential lineups (although if I'm managing the United States squad, I put Rolen in the starting lineup over A-Rod). This calls for its own post one of these days...Viva la beisbol.


At 5:40 PM, Blogger ethan said...

sounds like a cool show. i recommend snorting the ginger next time, then pulling the trigger in the bathroom.

now that world cup shit is white hot. u.s. and venezuela have the best teams. es verdad, no?

At 5:51 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Verdad. But I wouldn't fuck with the Dominicans neither...a lineup of Sori, Tejada, Pujols, Ortiz, Vladdy Daddy is enough to make me vomit up blood.

Man, just thinkin about the tourney has me slightly erected.


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