Monday, May 23, 2005

Shea Hey

I don't know what John Rocker's talking about. New York's 7 train and I made fast friends this weekend, and I'm pretty sure I didn't sit next to any "queer with AIDS" or "some dude who got out of jail for the fourth time."

I did, however, get stuck next to five stereotypical Jersey Trash D-Bags in their late 20s or early 30s (in full Yankee regalia, giving us a bad name) that were so annoying I thought I was filming some terribly predictable movie in Asbury Park. You know the type, guys with muscle shirts and guido goatees yelling things like "Duuude, I'm so drunk right now, did we kick all the Schnapps?" and "You broke my finger, you dick" and "Where did I steal this fork from, man?"

I mean, that's cool if you're 16 and wasted off-a blackberry brandy, but c'mon fellas, it's time to move out of your mom and step-dad's basement, trade in the Camaro and make something of yourselves. Juiced, semi-drunk and real stupid is no way to go through life, sons.

As for the games, the Mets not only signed Beltran and Pedro this offseason, I'm pretty sure the team inked Seinfeld's Poppy to a deal as well. We witnessed some real sloppy play at Shea this weekend, and as I watched from the first-base side on Friday night and behind home plate yesterday, the Mets definitely knelt down and blew two games with piss poor defense.

Hey, if the Mets wanna hand over two out of three games to a team their fans despise out of sheer jealousy and inferiority, be my guest, fellas. I'll be there to stand and clap and watch idiots fight about the scoreboard. That led to my favorite exchange of the weekend, from yesterday's game with the Yanks challenging but trailing by two runs late in the game:

Drunk Mets Fan: Yo! What's the scoreboard say, yo?
Yankees Fan That Says "Youze Guys": Typical Mets fan...can't read.

I enjoyed that dude's snappy comeback and the Yankum's comeback of their own. This was a huge weekend for interleague attendance: In addition to my 2-0 record at Shea this weekend, Fiedler, Starbux and Younger Handstand took in Friday's Baltimore/Phillies game on the final leg of their three-Stadium tour (hopefully we'll get a Slack post, but don't hold your breath), and new blogger friend Noonan has a nice write-up the Cubs/ChiSox at Wrigley.

Anyone else notice that San Francisco wore home uniforms with the word "Gigantes" across their chest for last night's game against Oakland? Whoaaa boy, I know one xenophobic anchor that's gonna be hot about that today. I bet those uniforms were made in China, too. Tune in at 6 pm.

Staying with sports, a hearty congratulations go to the Northwestern University women's lacrosse team, that brought my Wildcats a title for the first time since 1941 (um, our men's fencing team that year was sickkkk). Several items of import here: This team went 21-0 and became the first time outside the Eastern time zone to win a LAX title; the team is coached by the sister of one of my all-time favorite hockey players, Tony Amonte; most importantly though, I'm 99% positive we didn't even have a woman's LAX team at NU when I went there, not as a varsity program. So that's fucking awesome. Good work, ladies, seriously.

In other news, Miami's own EB told me to check out the pro-vegetarian video over at, which apparently is causing quite a stir in Britain and elsewhere. The Vegetarian Society strives to show that veggies can be fun too, and this certainly does the trick. "Can you keep it up for a week?" Good question.

Slack Song of the Day: Former Greyboy Allstar Robert Walter and his 20th Congress with 2% Body Fat from the McDonald Theatre in Eugene, Oregon on February 5, 2003. Today's runner-up prize goes to the Dead's Mississippi Half-Step from 10/20/78, which I listened to on the way to work this morning and enjoyed thoroughly.


At 12:01 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

I completely forgot about the NJguido website- we used to look at it years ago and laugh our ass*s off. That and the equally funny icy hot stuntaz:

At 12:18 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

no talk of swearengen and san francisco cocksuckah (band name??) today, whats the deal with that?

At 12:37 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Saving it for its own post, poophop! Best. Finale. Ever. Seriously, unreal stuff. The last 10 minutes had me at hello.

AGU, I'm hiring the Icy Hot Stuntaz for your birfday this year. That's gotta be a joke, right? These guys are more Internet famous than Mulgrew, but they have to be kidding, yes?

At 1:09 PM, Blogger TJ in OH said...

Yeah, I'm with P-Hop. I haven't been on here in a week but just KNEW we'd have a blow-by-blow on the Deadwood finale. Get with it, Acey.

Did they run any kind of trailer for next season after the credits? Missed it if so. Have they already shot the next run of episodes? Why would Phil know?

At 1:19 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

sorry tj, no trailer for next season, sort of left me with a semi, but its ok, (for those who have yet to see the episode, please stop reading this comment right now)seeing that douchefaced cockmaster tolliver get shanked right in the middle of the street more than made up for it

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Cease this commentary, post-haste.

I'll have a Deadwood post up in an hour or so and we shall commence with the speculation and masturbation.


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