Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Floating Taxis & America

"A vintage blue taxicab converted into a seagoing vessel and carrying several Cuban immigrants was intercepted Tuesday off Key West by the Coast Guard, a television station reported." [Click here for the article and a cool picture]

Even though these folks came from a Communist nation, do you think they had a Taxi Rider's Bill of Rights on board? I never understood the need for a full-fledged Bill of Rights here in New York City...I mean, I'd settle for a beat-up sign, which I guess is really what that thing is in the first place. That was a terrible sentence. Shame on me.

More importantly than grammar, though, who the deuce ratified the Taxi Rider's Bill of Rights without telling me? Were they any dissenters? And are the Cabbies working on a Cabbie PATRIOT Act that can deny your right to a "courteous, English-speaking driver?" I bet they are. But I bet they won't read it before they vote on it, and I'm sure they'll secretly expand it.

Moving's anecdote time. This is an example of what these Cuban cab-rafters were floating here for: Americana.

I like my roommate's girlfriend. I don't like her-like her, 'cuz she's the AGU's gal and that kind of shit has gotten me in plenty of trouble before. AGU's Gal is smart, she's funny and her best trait, she's a great sport about taking all the shit we throw at her in jest. So if you're reading this, and I know you are...I apologize, but I don't really.

When 10 pm rolled around last night, AGU's Gal requested a channel change from the Yank'ums to the ABC special of Diane Sawyer interviewing Brad Pitt. I had no problem with that, as the solitude of my room is more suitable for screaming at the Yanks's awfulness. But before I departed, I caught about two or three minutes of Mr. Pitt taking Ms. Sawyer to Africa for some wide shots of bloated stomachs.

After just a few minutes of this, AGU's Gal sighed in disgust and said something like, "Oy, enough of this Africa bullshit, let's get to the personal Angelina stuff." And there it is. America rocks.

This was also about an hour after this (non-fluid) exchange:

AGU: "...And I'll have to hang out with all your school friends."
AGU's Gal: "You don't even know all my school friends."
AGU: "Yes I do."
AGU's Gal: "Well, do you know [Friend]? [Friend] Citron?
Ace Cowboy: "I actually know her brother, Absolut."
AGU's Gal: "She doesn't have a brother."

I loved that one.


At 3:57 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

ahaha kudos bar ace

bet ya she knows mariah and asian viktor also

At 4:24 PM, Blogger The Ambiguously Gay Uno said...

Check out Mulgrew's post today- it links to an article that he wrote about catching terrorists... Please note in the fifth paragraph down his use of ONLY the first names "Brad," "Jen," and "Angelina."

There is no doubt in my mind that he sat and watched the Diane Sawyer interview last night with an old issue US Weekly in his left hand, middle and index fingers crossed on his right, hoping upon hope that they would finally talk about Brad and Angelina. Acutally, he probably called them "Brangelina."

Mulgrew- Apology in advance for the unwarranted attack. I saw an opening and went for it. I needed to divert attention immediately, or suffer the same fate that Ace surely has in store when she gets home... The post was funny and I rated it a 5. Twice. Everyone check it out and vote.


Post a Comment

<< Home