Monday, June 13, 2005

More Gossip: Verdict is In

Mikey Jackson, this is your life.

This just in: A verdict will be read at 4:30 ET. This is better than when the Pope died. I say stick a feeding tube in the accuser's nose and/or throat. Or is that not a universal solution to all of life's problems?

**Update**
4:30 pm: CNN's got every lawyer expert in the world on TV, and I'm sure the other networks are doing the same. I just saw CNN Sr. Legal Analyst Jeffrey Toobin talk for 20 minutes, then former US Attorney Kendall Coffey, now former OJ lawyer Robert Shapiro is in the hot-seat.

Am I wrong or wouldn't Comedy Central be wise to get the actor who played Jackie Chiles to do a five-minute spot on the Daily Show?

**Update # 2**
5:15 pm: Not Guilty on all 10 counts. No Jesus Juice, no penile touching, no nothing. Case closed. Let's all go home now.

10 Comments:

At 4:32 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

who's more guilty...
Michael Jackson, Kobe, OJ, me stealing the liquor in my parents alcohol cabinet (allegedly)

i say it goes OJ, then me, then Michael, then Kobe, boy, this law thing is tough

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Not Guilty? Really?

 
At 5:19 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

True story.

 
At 5:25 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Someone needs to go to jail soon. Anyone relatively famous, and I don't really care who. Katie Holmes? Charge being that she went from pretty hot with the potential to be a bomb shell to being a freak and not really all that attractive anymore? Tom Cruise because he is very, very gay according to Gypsy (and I don't disagree)? Anyone?

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

I don't think you can send Cruise to jail for being gay Matty Mac. Well maybe the cop from the Village People could.

 
At 11:49 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

You don't think it would be disrespectful to do Jackie Chiles what with Johnnie Cochran being dead and everything?

 
At 8:58 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

MSNBC is so desperate for lawyers to drive their ratings I heard they actually had Johnnie Cochran on the air last night. Didn't say much.

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Johnny Cochran is DEAD and on TV...At the SAME TIME. THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. IF Johnny Cochran is doing dead legal analysis on MSNBC, then Michael Jackson could not have molested little boys.

If Johnny's got rigormortis, then the case you must dismiss.

 
At 9:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And this wasn't yesterday's sign of the Apocalypse?

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Good point, Anon. There were many signs yesterday.

Noonan, rhyming rigamortis with dismiss...beautiful. That's like rhyming "Homer with "homer." Awesome.

 

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