Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Morning Batch O' Links

1. The following story is more outrageous than a 75-cent pack of Juicy Fruit. A few days ago, the New York Times called out a former White House Council on Environmental Quality official for editing some governmental scientific reports.

You see, Philip Cooney thought it might be better to downplay the links between greenhouse gas emissions and rising temperatures, shielding companies from any blame. Cooney resigned from his post as the head of the environmental council on Friday.

Well, guess what company announced the hiring of Philip Cooney last night? Yessir, Exxon-Mobil has a new employee. I love it. That's balls right there. Brass fucking balls. I always thought a company that takes in $288 billion a year in revenue and profits of $25 billion could use another ruthless bastard on its management team.

2. Heil Bush?

3. "A Kansas City abortionist is out of business after investigators discovered a grisly house of horrors at his clinic – with fetuses kept in Styrofoam cups in his refrigerator and one employee accusing him of microwaving one and stirring it into his lunch."

4. "A man who tried to conduct a job interview naked has been sentenced to three years' probation and placed on the sex offenders' register."

5. Overreaction Jones: "A McDonald's employee said an irate customer punched him through the drive-through window after he accidentally dropped some of her change on the ground Monday evening, Ann Arbor Police reported."

6. And the Philadelphia Inquirer, the nation's third-oldest daily newspaper, picked up yesterday's "Next Stop: Live 8?" Michael Jackson post from Slack. That's just spectacular. (You may need a username and password to sign in, but here's an excerpt):

The Sunday Telegraph reported that the exonerated pop star was so frantic to play in Philadelphia on July 2 that he had right-hand man Frank Tyson write several letters to promoters on his behalf.

Already the bloggery is wondering whether Philly is the right place to do some rep rehab. On a site called Slack LaLane (, Ace Cowboy muses:

"If Jackson does sign up and the organizers sign off, I'd recommend the London gig in lieu of Philly. Citizens of Philadelphia have loudly booed Santa Claus, hometown hero and legend Mike Schmidt..., they cheered Michael Irvin's devastating injury and they threw batteries at J.D. Drew.

"Something tells me the King of Pop should stay away from Philly."


At 9:57 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Wow, Slack Lalane goes big time. Congrats.

Don't forget about us little people when you start hitting the red carpet and doing the talk show circuit.

At 10:29 AM, Blogger ethan said...

folks, better hide your vodka & little brothers - mulgrew's gonna rampage when he sees that philly's quoting ace...

At 10:37 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Thanks, gents. But apparently nobody reads the Philly Inquirer online because it got me like 50 hits, tops. So I'm still in the small-blog-box with you fellas.

And Mulgrew's probably fine with Philly quoting me...Tubbs is goin' national soon enough.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger John Howard said...

50 hits? Isn't that a lot?

At 11:20 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Sounds like a lot to me too. Congratulations!

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

--Is it me or is that a lot of gum?
--That's a lot of gum.

I shit on 50 hits.

At 7:34 PM, Blogger Wooglin said...

Big time Bill! Big time!

At 2:33 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

Well, Ethan, it looks like Mulgrew was in People, so I guess he won't be too upset.


Post a Comment

<< Home