Monday, June 13, 2005

Today's Sign of the Apocalypse

We interrupt this no-gossip blog to bring you a momentary brush with absurdity. Man, I hate celebrity culture, but like Ms. Holmes, I just cannot escape.

"Katie Holmes says she's converting to the Church of Scientology, embracing the religion of her boyfriend, Tom Cruise."

That seems like a lot of work just to perpetuate the myth that these guys love each other. I do, however, support this couple, if for no other reason than there's no really easy one-word name like "Bennifer" to utilize. Well, maybe "KaTom," but that sucks.

In the meantime, if you really want to do something worthwhile, help this group free Katie. It's obvious she can't flee the clutching grasp of Tommy C. So, uh, Free Katie!

No love for the Bad Lieutenant + American Idol Bo Bice + Hasidic reggaue superstar Matisyahu? That's gotta be the funniest thing I've read all year.

10 Comments:

At 2:28 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Xenu will be pleased. She was covered with Thetans.

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Yeah celebrity culture bites. Well actually I like it. But that doesn't take away from the fact that Cruise is gayer than gay. Truman Capote gay. Falls into the "girls are icky" range on the Kinsey scale gay. Fred from the B-52s gay. No rope necessary for his soap gay. Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 
At 3:28 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Why Noonan, have you converted?

Gypsy, holy shit. Are you gonna teach that fetus in your belly such hate speech?! I do agree, though.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

I love crazy religions, they're a hobby of mine, and Scientology may be the craziest religion ever invented. I'm always shocked that the details are never reported when you read stories like this.

They must know that they're nuts too, otherwise Cruise would be on Oprah talking about how he believes that a 70,000 year old alien was trapped inside a volcano and so he (Cruise) went in and had the e-reader electrodes attached and cleared of all of his Thetans, which are the spirits of the aliens that crashed with the alien in the volcano, and, you see, they're attached to your soul and you can get rid of them with our analysis, plus a small fee, of course.

 
At 3:51 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

No no. You've got me all wrong. I'm hoping my son is gay so that he can help me decorate my house. (Fun with stereotypes. YeY!) No, seriously I couldn't care less if my son is gay. It's the pretending not to be for money, media exposure or whatever that would bug me.

 
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous HANDSTAND said...

Bo Bice rocks.

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

Why the fuck would anyone convert to Scientology? Now if it was Latvian Orthodox, I'd be behind her 100%.

 
At 4:24 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Converting your religion for a love interest is weird. Basically it means that you don't believe anything. One day Jesus is the son of God until you meet a really great guy who believes otherwise and then he's just a dead carpenter with delusions of granduer. Yup, that's it. Just a way dead carpenter.

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Gypsy, you're splitting my sides today. Consider my sides split.

Regardless of your obvious hatred for gays, I hope you pass along that sense of humor to the Kid.

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

I said Latvian Orthodox...

 

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