Thursday, July 28, 2005

Decorative Swords and Animal Balls

It's a powerful combination:

--"When taunting over the death of a dog escalated into an argument, a woman said her husband dared her to take a decorative sword above the fireplace to settle things, a police report said. That resulted in John A. Kurceba, 53, being stabbed Monday though his right bicep and into his right side. His injuries were not life-threatening, authorities said." [More]

--From a lame article on cookbooks: "Giles Coren, who voted for the book, said: 'It really makes you want to eat meat. The only disappointing thing is that it has recipes for sheep’s testicles, but not rooster’s testicles, which as every gastronome knows are the tastiest testicles of all.'" [More]

Wait, Giles Coren? Wasn't he stoned to death by the witch hunters? And I always thought the tastiest testicles of all were Schwetti Balls.

(Gratuitously, here's the latest UniWatch column from Paul Lukas -- easily the best feature on the ESPN site. Incidentally, when's the last time you even read a Sports Guy column? Definitely been a little while for this guy over here.)

6 Comments:

At 3:32 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

I heard an interview with an ex-cop who said that the number one rule to remember when someone threatens you with a gun/knife/decorative sword/etc. is to never follow the lead of the tough guys on TV and challenge them to make good on their threat. He said that an alarming number of people fail to observe this rule and pay for it with their lives.

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I saw that interview...it was with Officer Ponch Poncherello, right?

I think that's good advice though. Trust me, if someone has a knife to me or a gun near me, the only thing I'm doing is pissing my pants.

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger ethan said...

"decorative swords and animal balls"

definitely a booth at the flea market.

also, i'm totally down with the baby blue unis.

 
At 2:03 PM, Blogger jakezebra said...

The term 'decorative sword' is misleading and inane. If I hang a gun on my wall - is that a 'decorative gun'? Say then I take the gun off the wall and shoot you ... would you still call it a gun? No. You would call it a gun, a piece, deuce-deuce, a cannon, the persuader, glock.
"Decorative" appended to the word sword would indicate that it's not sharp (to me at least). But tell that to the guy who thought he would provoke Highlander.

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger ethan said...

kind of like the decorative sword bruce willis gets the gimp with in pulp fiction.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Remember, though, Zebra:

A pound of feathers weighs twice as much as a pound of stone.

 

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